tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85105470042678335852024-03-13T12:19:14.224-07:00Pulp HornsDebbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-41758736251304431342018-04-30T08:59:00.000-07:002018-04-30T08:59:24.479-07:00A Reflection on Installation Sunday: Psalm 21.1-7, 13<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Psalms have been the voice of God to me in prayer lately. Yesterday, I was installed as Pastor of Bethany Covenant Church in Lyndhurst, Ohio. This day was a long time coming, in more than one way, and in some ways it is still hard for me to fathom. It was a beautiful service, a beautiful day, blessed with dozens of little graces. And yet, it wasn't until this morning, as I sat at my desk in my study (I have a study!) and opened my Bible to read the Psalm for today, that I was truly struck by what the Lord has done for me.</span><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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Psalm 21 is from the perspective of the king, in this case King David. I am not a king, but I am a child of the King, and a member of a royal priesthood. As soon as I began to read, I somehow immediately substituted <i>pastor </i>for <i>king </i>and <i>she </i>for <i>he</i>. Here is how verses 1-7, 13 read, adapted this way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>The pastor rejoices in your strength, Lord. How great is her joy in the victories you give! You have granted her her heart's desire and have not withheld the request of her lips. You came to greet her with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on her head. She asked you for life, and you gave it to her—length of days for ever and ever. Through the victories you gave, her glory is great; you have bestowed on her splendor and majesty. Surely you have granted her unending blessings and made her glad with the joy of your presence. For the pastor trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High she will not be shaken. . . . Be exalted in your strength, Lord; we will sing and praise your might!</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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As I wrote the Psalm this way in my journal, I finally felt at my core—in my <i>splanchna</i>—the weight and the joy of yesterday's events. <i>My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant</i> (Luke 1.46b-48a).<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-69117321234882126272018-02-28T22:51:00.000-08:002018-02-28T22:51:04.612-08:00We Shall Be ComfortedIn our church family in the last few weeks, three of our beloved older members have died. Tonight was the third, a dear friend who, although he was advanced in age, was much too young to leave us. Sitting in my grief, I couldn't make myself go to bed, so I began rifling through old files in order to delete documents I didn't need any more (staying busy with one portion of my brain while grieving with another). I came across this short piece I had written some years ago in response to one of my friend Erika's sermons. I don't know if I ever used this piece elsewhere; at least I can find no record of having done so. But it brought me comfort to read it tonight. If you are grieving or suffering, perhaps it will bring you comfort, too. I bring it to you unedited from the original composition.<br />
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We Shall Be Comforted<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have been thinking about Pastor
Erika’s sermon several weeks ago on the beatitude, “Blessed are those who mourn
for they shall be comforted,” and her assertion that mourning what is wrong
with the world—death, sin, waste, abuse, pain—is a necessary step to receiving
comfort, the comfort that only Jesus brings, a comfort of ultimate hope.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We
understand, to some extent, the suffering caused by the sinful choices of
humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But suffering seems to be the
very fabric of the natural world, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The reality is that for some to live, others must die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me to have dinner, some plants and
animals gave their lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Annie Dillard
in her book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pilgrim at Tinker Creek</i>
notices the ridiculous measure of death in nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a few spiders to live, thousands more
will die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When trees grow, they feed off
the dead remains of previous plant and animal life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Female praying mantises <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eat their mates </i>during<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>the
act of reproduction!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Jonah was
sitting under a shady vine waiting for Nineveh to be destroyed, a worm came
along (at God’s command) just doing his worm-thing, trying to get some lunch
out of the vine, and the vine withered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“The Circle of Life” tries to prettify it, but lions do hunt down and
eat other animals, and those animals suffer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Death is the way of life here on earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do we mourn that?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yes, we
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">necessity</i> of death is what we mourn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We rightly long for something different,
better, more whole, something that recognizes the goodness, the God-ness, in
all of creation, not just humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
when Christians mourn, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we shall be
comforted</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will see a day when
the lion lies down with the lamb, when death is no longer necessary for life,
when we are not subject to aging nor surrounded by the detritus of decay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our darkness turns to dawning, as the song
goes, because God has promised us a different kind of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That life has been planted within us, so
sometimes we sense the gruesome disconnect between what is and what shall be,
but someday we will see “face to face.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For us to
live, Jesus Christ had to die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he
did not remain in death; instead, he conquered it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The poet John Donne said, “And death shall be
no more; death, thou shalt die!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus
showed us the way to that new kind of life, and now because we have tasted it,
we know what’s coming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ecclesiastes
tells us that there is a time to mourn and a time to be comforted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today we mourn, but that time to be comforted
is coming; it is God’s promise to us, sealed in the resurrected Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We mourn, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we shall be comforted</i>. That is the ultimate hope in which we live.<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-35454223366807700562018-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:002018-01-28T18:54:24.175-08:00Dear Shoreline Cov<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Today I announced at Shoreline Covenant Church that Darrel and I will be moving to Ohio where I have been called to be solo pastor of Bethany Covenant Church. Following are approximately the remarks I made.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">This past
week I was the third wheel with Doug and Erika Haub at the ECC Midwinter
Conference for Pastors in Chicago. It’s a good thing I have other friends at
Midwinter, or it could have gotten awkward. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">On Monday, I
took part in my final ordination interview, and I was approved for ordination. </span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JoPc6xQZBlM/Wm6H1AnxdJI/AAAAAAAAA04/zEmkGGc22KoWRz_hSQ989C42BqIdRHz8wCLcBGAs/s1600/Ordination.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JoPc6xQZBlM/Wm6H1AnxdJI/AAAAAAAAA04/zEmkGGc22KoWRz_hSQ989C42BqIdRHz8wCLcBGAs/s320/Ordination.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 10.66px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 17.33px; line-height: 18.66px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>This photo</b> is me with the final
ordination interview panel, celebrating with me. Apparently, it’s become a
tradition to take a selfie with the interview panel, so we took the selfie!</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EKWdu2CYbvU/Wm6IZPrZaII/AAAAAAAAA1I/UMGe16EMpHM1v_6b9F-7Eir3G6tnJDD5wCLcBGAs/s1600/Nametag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EKWdu2CYbvU/Wm6IZPrZaII/AAAAAAAAA1I/UMGe16EMpHM1v_6b9F-7Eir3G6tnJDD5wCLcBGAs/s320/Nametag.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 10.66px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 17.33px; line-height: 18.66px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">On the
screen you will see a copy of <b>my Midwinter
nametag</b>. Look at it closely.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">It does not
say Shoreline Covenant Church. It says Bethany Covenant Church in Lyndhurst,
Ohio.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18.66px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">You may have
wondered why Pastor Erika was hugging me as if her life depended on it in
the middle of the aisle right before church began last week. Moments before
that hug, I had received a text that said: “We did vote to hire a new pastor. Her
name is Debbie! Alleluia! We just completed the vote, and it was nearly
unanimous!” </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18.66px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">A week
earlier Darrel and I had been in Ohio, where </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I preached</b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18.66px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, and where we ate a lot of potluck food and met almost
everyone in the church. Last Sunday afternoon, I accepted the call to become
the new pastor of Bethany Covenant Church. Here is a </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">photo of the church</b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 17.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18.66px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">. Yup, traditional white church with a steeple
and a fellowship hall in the basement.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Darrel will
be retiring from his teaching position in Seattle Schools where he has served
40 years. I will be leaving my position as Bible teacher and Junior High
Chaplain at Bellevue Christian School. In a few short weeks, we will have
everything packed up and we will move to a place where, until a couple of
months ago, we knew no one. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">We have not
decided on a final timeline, and there will be plenty of time to share our
departure details, but today I want to tell you the short version of a story
about you and Darrel and me.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I married
into this church. Darrel brought me here to visit before we were even dating.
From my very first moments at this church, I knew I was home. I knew I had
found something I had been longing for my whole life. I have been a believer
since I made a profession of faith in a Baptist church in Germany when I was
six years old, but I’d never truly found the home I was looking for until I
came here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Darrel and I
got married almost 10 years ago. Shortly after, this church called Pastor Erika
to be our associate pastor. I had come from a tradition that did not affirm
women in ministry, so this felt a bit strange to me. But Pastor Mike did an
excellent job of educating us about how it was completely biblical for women to
use all the gifts that God has given them in service of the church, even pastoral
gifts. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I saw for
the first time that biblical women such as Deborah, Huldah, Mary, Hannah,
Junia, and Priscilla were not aberrations, but women whose lives revealed the
truth of Joel 2.28 and repeated in Acts 2.17: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Your sons and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">your daughters</b>
will prophesy</i>. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Still I felt
no pastoral call on my own life. I did, however, need to do some continuing education
for my job as a teacher of English and Bible at Shoreline Christian School. I
decided to take a couple of classes at Fuller Seminary so I could be a better
Bible teacher.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">After I had
taken my first class, I knew that God was calling me to go to seminary. I still
had no inkling that I was being prepared for anything else. But I quit my job
and enrolled full time.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">When I told
Pastor Erika that I had done so (and you have to remember, at that time Erika
and I were not friends yet), she immediately said, “Oh, then let’s get your
internship set up.” I wasn’t even sure what the internship was supposed to be,
but she and Pastor Mike did just that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Then one
Sunday, Laurel Idso, whom I didn’t even know, plunked herself down next to me
in church and said, “I hear you’re going to seminary. Are you planning to get
ordained?” I had up until that moment no intention of even considering
ordination, but Laurel opened up the future for me in that brief conversation,
and she has been faithfully praying for me ever since. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">She and Sue
Kerrigan and Florence Gustafson, three women I didn’t know very well, became my
prayer support team during the time I was completing my seminary studies—basically
the prayer dream team.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">A few days
before the first time I preached here, I was at a gathering with Phil and Barb
Whitmarsh. Phil said, “I hear you’re going to preach Sunday.” I said, “Yes, I
am. Will you be there?” Phil’s response is forever etched in my memory. He
said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">For my
second internship, Mike Matteson made it possible for me to do an internship in
the chaplaincy program at the King County Jail where he had been faithfully
serving as a volunteer chaplain since his retirement. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">You released
me to serve as Associate Pastor of Renew Covenant Church, and you supported
that multiethnic church plant with financial gifts and people and worship teams
for two years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">And when my
time at Renew was over, you again offered me opportunities to lead and teach
and preach and influence this body, but really you were the ones who influenced
me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">This church
taught us to love deeply. This church helped turn me from a person who maybe
wanted to take a couple of Bible classes into a pastor. Who knew? Apparently
you did.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">God has
called us to leave Washington, leave our children and grandchildren, leave our
jobs, leave our friendships, and leave Shoreline Covenant Church to go to a
state where until recently we literally didn’t know a soul. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">We are
deeply saddened by the necessity to leave so many meaningful relationships
behind, but the call of God on us is sure and compelling. As much as we hate to
leave you, I also can’t wait to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i>,
doing what God has called me, and that you have helped prepare me, to do. We go
with the wind of Shoreline Covenant Church under our wings. You are the reason
we can go, and you are the reason it is so hard to leave.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I have been
asked to tell you that the people of Bethany Covenant are deeply appreciative
of you, truly grateful to the people of Shoreline Covenant for your investment
in me, and for your nurture of both of us in such a way that this moment in
time is possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Please pray
for us: for the transition and all the details associated with it, and for the
new work that God has given us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Let me
finish with this shameless request: We would love to spend time with you before
we leave. Invite us over for dinner. Take us out for lunch. Let us be with you
as much as possible. We are who we are because of you, and we want to celebrate
that with you. And then we will depend on Facebook and messenger and email and
Skype and Christmas cards and airlines and road trips to keep being Jesus to
one another.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Thank you
for being my church. Thank you for being family for Darrel and me. We love you.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-21453078414038845482018-01-01T12:00:00.002-08:002018-01-01T12:00:41.937-08:00The Word for 2017 . . . and 2018
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For the last several years, I have not made New Year’s
resolutions. Rather, my daughter has challenged me to choose a word or phrase
for the year, and most years I have done that. The “word for the year” has
proven to be a gentle reminder to orient my choices in the direction I want to
go, or maybe more accurately, the direction I believe God wants me to go. This
has always been a spiritual task for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last year at the time I would be making such a choice, I was
at Darrel’s bedside in the hospital as he was recovering from major spine
surgery. This, as many of you know, was a much more arduous road to travel than
we expected, and it consumed much of our energy for the year. One day back at
work, I slipped on the ice in the parking lot, fell hard, and wrenched my
already aching, arthritic knee. The very next day, while running an errand
before driving to the rehab facility where Darrel would spend a month
recovering after nine days in the hospital, I slipped on the ice again and
wrenched it even worse. I could barely walk.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went to the doctor that day, and it turned out the
immediate damage wasn’t that bad in spite of the extreme pain, but I decided I
was tired of living with subpar knees and I scheduled myself for physical
therapy. That proved to be challenging to fit in my schedule, and I didn’t love
that first physical therapist nor the dungeon-like location of the PT clinic in
the bowels of the hospital. I quit going for a while.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then my daughter’s boyfriend (and a former student of mine)
suggested I come in for a fitness analysis at his workplace, Experience
Momentum, which offers physical therapy, fitness classes, massage, nutritional
counseling, and more. I accepted his challenge, but after the fitness
assessment he said that he thought I should start with physical therapy to
address my knees and improve mobility in my shoulders after nearly three years
of frozen shoulder that no other treatment had successfully addressed long
term. So I decided to try PT again at this new venue.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love the Experience Momentum approach to health.
Everything was oriented towards my personal goals and functional living. The
therapists listened to me when I described what was happening in my body, and
made adjustments accordingly. If I couldn’t do an exercise they gave me, they
modified it so I could do it. When I told them I hated the exercise bike, they
put me on the rower instead. If I hadn’t been able to do my home exercises,
they never shamed me, but they invited me into greater health every time. I
learned to use different muscles to do my daily life; my favorite new skill was
learning to walk up and down stairs without pain! I sometimes felt like a
toddler—how on earth can I not know how to climb stairs?—but relearning such
skills was worth it. I saw quantifiable gains.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The success I had there transferred into other areas of my
life. During the summer, Darrel and I swam several times a week, and I became
strong enough to actually swim laps and not just splash around. I figured out I
could do moderate walks if I used hiking poles, a simple and inexpensive
adjustment that enabled increased activity. When my younger daughter and I
traveled to Arizona to help my mother move into a retirement community, we
stopped in Disneyland as an early birthday present for her; the hiking poles
helped me get through our long day of extreme fun with minimal discomfort.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When school started in the fall, I felt ready to face some
new challenges. My job assignment had changed, so that in addition to teaching
Bible 8, I would also take on the new Junior High Chaplain position, working
with a small chapel leadership team of Junior High students to plan and present
our weekly chapels. At church I became Pastor of Confirmation for this year,
working with seven wonderful Junior High aged students to review the whole
Bible and church history and, we hope, grow in their faith. I continued to
preach as needed in areas churches.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I told my physical therapist that I wanted to start
taking some of the exercise classes, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough
to succeed, we agreed that a good intermediate step for me would be to do some
personal training. I signed up for and completed ten sessions with a personal
trainer, also at Experience Momentum, again with the goal of improved daily
functionality and specific preparation for the kinds of movements I would be
doing in the yoga and boot camp classes that they offer. I never worked so hard
in my life! And because I was paying out of pocket for the personal training, I
wanted to get the best bang for my buck, so I actually did my home workout
assignments each week. And if I ended up skipping one because of life or health
or whatever, I chose not to shame myself. Indeed, I actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">missed</i> my workouts when I couldn’t get
to them. I went to my first yoga class last week and signed up for a month of
boot camp and yoga classes!</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somewhere along the way, I realized I was ready to tackle my
diet again. I started every day drinking a glass of water. I began carrying a
large bottle of lemon water to school each day and made sure I drank the whole
thing; sometimes I filled it up again and drank a second bottleful. I cut my
Diet Coke consumption in half. I went back on my ketogenic hot chocolate
breakfast routine, had salads for lunch whenever possible (not always possible
with our schedules), and prepared healthful dinners in the evening. I mostly
quick snacking. If I did want a piece of birthday cake in the teacher’s lounge,
I ate it with gladness and joy, and then backed off of sugar for the rest of
the week. I didn’t make Christmas cookies this year. We mostly kept junk out of
the house. I have lost a total of 25 pounds over the last three years from my
highest weight, about 10 of it in the last four or five months.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have more energy. I can do stairs. I can carry groceries
in without feeling winded. I have learned to be gentle with myself when I need
to be, and push myself when I can. I say to myself, “Do it now,” and most of
the time that helps. I have been able to say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">yes</i> to many life-giving activities, such as preaching and
confirmation and gatherings with friends, in spite of the extra time that
exercise and new assignments take.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All of this not to congratulate myself, but to say that my word
for the year was a retrospective. I didn’t start 2017 with a word, but I ended
up with one: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">self-care</b>. Somehow God
showed me that I was worth the effort, the money, and the time it would take to
be healthy. I finally gave myself permission to invest in my longevity. The women
in my family live a long time, and I knew I didn’t want to live those years as
an invalid, constantly struggling with health, weight, and pain. I didn’t want
to retire from serving God! I also came to terms with the fact that health,
especially at my age, takes intentional effort. In taking self-care seriously
this year, I have had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i> margin for
ministering to others, more joy, more gratitude, more capacity for generosity, more
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ears to hear and eyes to see</i> what God
is doing in me and my loved ones and my world, less need to self-protect. 2017
was my year of radical self-care.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what about my word for 2018?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I decided that a couple of sessions with a counselor to sort
out some interpersonal struggles would be beneficial. I’ve been in counseling
before, and I’m a believer in its value. But this time I contacted the
insurance company representative who can obtain referrals for us, got the names
of some therapists, and finally made an appointment (it was a four month
journey from the first contact to the first appointment, but I persevered). </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My new counselor invited me to be present with my own
feelings when I have a visceral reaction to a difficult situation—to notice
what is going on in my body, to name the sensations and sit with them before I
try to solve the problem at hand, before I try to minister, before even I try
to have empathy for the other. She wants me first to have empathy for myself!
She likened it to the announcement they make on airplanes: “Put your own mask
on first before you assist others.” I must not rush past my own experience. I
must take care of myself not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">instead of</i>
taking care of others, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">in preparation
for</i> taking care of others. Then I can truly and authentically be the
non-anxious presence that others sometimes need from me—as a friend, as a
teacher, as a pastor, as a family member, as a neighbor, as a citizen of the
kingdom of God.</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So my year of radical self-care has led me to my word for
2018: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">presence</b>. I want to live into
the calling to be truly present—with myself, with my body, with God, with my
family, with my reality, with my church, with my world, with whoever God brings
into my sphere. I want to put down my phone more often, listen better, react
less, read more, and be more available to the Holy Spirit’s whispering in my
life. I’ve begun again the practice of contemplative breath prayer.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This won’t necessarily be easy for me. I’m a multitasker; I
can be easily distracted, as my husband and children will attest. My brain is
often full of ideas and tasks that mentally take me away from what’s right in
front of me. I’ll need discipline. But one thing I’ve learned from my year of
radical self-care is that God will give me what I need to move forward into the
next thing I need. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am confident in
this, that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until
the day of Christ Jesus.</i> (Philippians 1.6 paraphrased)</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What word is God giving <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i>
for 2018?</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<br /></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span>Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-76456130991313719072016-04-10T23:12:00.003-07:002016-04-10T23:12:51.649-07:00Farewell, Spring Break! 2016Today began with church. I had a 10-minute talk to do in our Sunday school class; by all accounts it went well. Then service. Being at my home church is restorative for me. I've written about this before; our church is not flashy or slick, but it's a place of worship, contemplation, family, and joy. I always feel "home" there. <br />
<br />
Then Darrel made tacos for lunch lunch while I worked on Jen's laundry. Then Darrel turned on golf on TV and I took a two-hour nap. Sundays so often these days include a nap. <br />
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I finished Jen's laundry, and we played a couple of games. I made bacon and eggs for dinner. We decided to watch a couple of episodes of Dr. Who, so I got out some origami paper and folded bookmarks while we watched. <br />
<br />
Then I decided to tackle some baby cards. Since I only had an idea of the design, I had to make a prototype, which took some time, but I liked the finished product. I've been working at my standing desk in my craft room, which makes it easier to grab things and maneuver and, oddly, to put things away when I'm finished. I cut and stamped the cards, punched the shapes, Sizzixed the word bubbles, and assembled the dimensional pieces. Tomorrow I will put the dimensional adhesive on the loose pieces and finish assembling the cards.<br />
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I'm so glad I blogged my spring break. Not only did I record the various tasks that I accomplished during the week, but the act of recording caused me to wake up each morning with a sense of anticipation. <i>What can I accomplish today? </i> Blogging also helped me to recognize the time I spend with family and friends as tasks worth accomplishing rather than interruptions to my productivity. I know the weather helped, but I am refreshed and happy. <br />
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I've made such good use of my week that it almost feels odd to think I'll be back at work at work tomorrow. I'm so glad I did two weeks of planning before I left last week. I won't have to get there particularly early, just early enough to double-check my plan book, update the journal topics and assignments on the white board, and make sure I have copies of any handouts I'll need for the day.<br />
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Come on, fourth quarter! I'm ready for you!Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-22220198485689214592016-04-09T22:52:00.001-07:002016-04-09T22:52:40.067-07:00Joyful Tasks: Spring Break 2016 Day NineI made it to Fuchsia Saturday at Fred Meyer, and after standing in line for a long time which seemed shorter due to the glorious weather, I got my hanging basket filled with fuchsia starts, creeping charlie, and bacopa. Many years I miss Fuchsia Saturday all together, and even when I have known the date and made it on time to buy fuchsias, I have never had the patience to wait long enough for the employees to pot my purchases before. I just buy my starts and take them home and plant them myself. But today I waited. Many of the other customers standing in line were in a sun-induced, jovial mood, as was I. The elderly man who potted my starts was pleasant, too, and I enjoyed my few moments with him as we chatted about how to arrange the plants in the hanging basket I had brought from home.<br />
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I picked up a few other things at Fred Meyer and then headed to Jen's new apartment in the U Village. Jen and Darrel were already there. We spent several hours unpacking Jen's boxes, arranging her kitchen, sorting through items that had been in storage as long as three years. She made a large pile for Goodwill, and Darrel took multiple loads to the recycle bin as we emptied boxes and discarded packing materials. It was hard, sweaty work, but it felt good to see the progress we made. I brought home a huge pile of clothes, sheets, blankets, and pillow covers to launder to remove the musty smell of storage.<br />
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Arriving home, I put out my new fuchsias on the deck, put away some treasures I rescused from Jen's giveaway pile, and started laundry. Mountains of it. I also finished making the birthday cards I began last night; I'm pretty pleased with the results. <br />
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I wanted to make baby and anniversary cards, but I ran out of time. And energy. My body is feeling the fatigue of the very physical labor I did today. I got my workout today!<br />
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Darrel came home after dropping Jen off and taking his dad shopping, and we cooked dinner and played another game of Qwirkle while we ate. Darrel finally broke my winning streak. Then we watched a couple of episodes of <i>Dr. Who</i>. We are slowly getting into the rhythm of the new season. Just as Clara and the others must become accustomed to the new doctor, so must we. <br />
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The day went fast, filled with joyful tasks. And spring break is going faster. One more day.Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-79940436972851032592016-04-09T00:16:00.001-07:002016-04-09T00:16:49.405-07:00Broken Knives and Free Workouts: Spring Break 2016 Day EightIt's going to be over too fast! It's been a full week, but boy-oh-boy I could get used to this.<br />
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I slept well last night, the best night of sleep all week. Maybe all the tiptoeing through the tulips yesterday had something to do with that. And then today has been another glorious day of sunshine and warmth.<br />
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I was going to sew all day but I accidentally hit a pin while using my serger which caused the knife to snap, even though the knife is a pretty thick piece of metal. The repair shop's "serger guy" wouldn't be in until Monday, so I decided to start taking it apart to see if I could troubleshoot it and repair it myself. That's when I discovered the broken knife. I took that in to the repair shop, but they didn't have that piece, so they ordered it for me. It probably won't be in before Thursday. Sigh.<br />
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I <i>can</i> sew without my serger, but it does some tasks so much better and faster than my regular sewing machine that I decided to wait. All those cut projects will remain in pieces a bit longer. While I was out, though, I ran to Costco for bacon ($110 for bacon? I didn't even get a cart. How on earth did I spend $110?), then grabbed some lunch, and stopped by Safeway to see if anyone had turned in the magnetic sunglasses that came with my prescription glasses and which are impossible to replace without a ridiculous expenditure, and, yes, someone had! So happy to have them back.<br />
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Darrel got home shortly after I did, and we decided to run to a local gym that is having a $10 per month/no contract offer. They wanted all of our contact information, including our birth date, "for liability purposes," before they would even show us around. Why do they need our birth dates for a liability waiver? The guy didn't seem interested in just telling us how it works and showing us around without that information, so we left and came home. Frustrating and scammy.<br />
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We knew there was some limited workout equipment in our condo clubhouse, so we checked it out. It took some finagling and reading the posted instructions, but we got several pieces of equipment to work. My favorite is a sort of rowing machine that looks a bit like a bicycle and is very easy to operate and still a decent workout. I went to the gym in the first place because I wanted access to a rowing machine. Darrel said we could start working out together for free in the clubhouse after work. Free and convenient. The only downside, really, is that the workout room is dark, dank, and poorly lit. After two years, my frozen shoulder is starting to improve, finally, so I'm hoping that if I am careful, I can ease back into exercise without making it worse and finally being doing something physical.<br />
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So we came back to the condo, cooked dinner, played Qwirkle, and watched a little TV; Darrel finally found a site where we could watch the recent season of Dr. Who for free. I put all the sewing stuff away for now and began working on a card-making project. I didn't finish any, though, because I was doing some hand water-coloring (with water color pencils and an aqua pen), and that takes time. It's enjoyable but not speedy.<br />
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I'm coming to the end of spring break, and I feel just the tiniest bit of that amusement park anxiety. I haven't done enough and it's almost time to go! Tomorrow has some planned activities that will make the day go too fast, and then Sunday is church and gearing up for the week and then--back to work.Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-48512447865229101692016-04-07T22:16:00.001-07:002016-04-07T22:16:26.746-07:00Tulips: Spring Break 2016 Day Seven<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Annual Tradition. Rachel and her kids have gone with us several times. This was Amanda and baby Emma's first time. We took Darrel's new 7-seater minivan. Lunch at Calico Cupboard, tulips at Roozengaarde. Might have bought maple walnut fudge. Never gets old.Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-77573960103852928152016-04-07T00:06:00.000-07:002016-04-07T00:06:20.060-07:00Companionable Silences: Spring Break 2016 Day Six<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up intending to sew, or at least cut, until time to
meet my friend for lunch, but I got a slow start and needed a shower and
started a load of laundry and actually made the bed and called my DIL to get my
son’s deployment mailing address and eventually I ran out of time. </div>
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I wore the new skirt that I just made a couple of days ago. I picked up my friend a few minutes early; she was just as excited as I was
to start our outing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of our work
schedules, we don’t often get to indulge in daylight hours together during the
school year, so this is a treat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
started talking before we even got to the car—sliding easily between lightweight topics such as the colors of our spring wardrobes to weightier<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>matters such as how to frame a discussion on
race—and kept talking all the way to the restaurant.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ah, the restaurant!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
favorite of my pal’s but which I had never visited:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Palisades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Situated above a marina, it overlooks the sound and provides a perfectly
framed view of Mt. Rainier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They offered
a <i>prix fixe</i> lunch which included started and dessert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For starters, my friend had sashimi and I had
the lobster-crab bisque.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For our entrees we both had the prime rib dip.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For dessert, my friend had bread pudding and I chose the
flourless chocolate cake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The food was amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I brought home half my sandwich and I was still so full I waddled out of
there.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The lunch was very slowly paced; we were there for over two
hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The service was attentive but
unintrusive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We talked about
everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(When I got home, my husband
asked:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Did you solve the problems of the world?</i>)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we also occasionally slipped into those
companionable, natural silences of several minutes at a time; we sat back in
our chairs and contemplated the view while letting each course settle and mulling
over the things we had been talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We had no agenda.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The kinds of friends with whom silence is endurable are
rare, but I appreciate the lack of a necessity to fill every moment with sound.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I value silence more the older I get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need time to think, or even time to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> think, and especially after a week
of junior high chatter and motion, I crave unhurried relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, I value the freedom to discuss
what’s really on my mind and to hear what’s on my friend’s mind and see where
the conversation leads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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After lunch, we went to a fun salon in Ballard and got
pedicures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They put us in a separate
section that had only two pedicure chairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We turned on the electric massage functions and very quickly closed our
eyes and quit talking altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
pedicurists chatted quietly in Vietnamese with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might have dozed for a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was my companion’s first pedicure since
her wedding; it was kind of fun to notice her delight in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really, pedicures are a relatively
inexpensive luxury, a way of saying, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m
worth it!</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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All good things must come to an end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dropped her off, made quick stops at the
gas station and the grocery store, and came home and crashed for an hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Darrel was home by then, and we did our usual
sharing of our days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was far from
hungry, so for dinner he ate my leftovers from lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I went out to pick up fleece scraps from a former colleague who is also
a quilter--and therefore has the scraps I needed on hand (she assured me she had plenty more and I could take everything in the pile she had set aside for me)--and ran back to Joann’s for a couple more project-completers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I came home again and cut out fabric until I finished for
the day. I put away the cutting table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think I am finished cutting for this round of sewing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of my free hours (many are already
committed to other plans) will be spent trying to finish up the projects I’ve
already cut out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tomorrow has all my local grandkids in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shall not expect silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-36207585244763253152016-04-05T23:17:00.000-07:002016-04-05T23:17:06.432-07:00Playful and Polished: Spring Break 2016 Day Five<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>No alarm (but woke up early anyway). No makeup (at least until I had to run an
errand). No seeing anyone I knew (except
Darrel). A good kind of day, and a nice
change of pace. I like work but I hate
alarms.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cut fabric—a skirt, two tote bags.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mused over other projects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dug through my supplies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needed a few things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Got dressed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bath and Body Works: new shower sponge<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home Depot:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>curtain
rods and hydrangea food<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Costco:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>returns, plus
olive oil and honey<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Post Office: mail letters that wouldn’t fit in our condo’s
outgoing mail slot<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Taco Time: a girl’s gotta eat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Joann’s: 1/8 of a yard of denim, some Heat ‘n Bond, a
magnetic purse clasp (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Don’t look!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t look at all the pretty things! </i>I
looked.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Car wash: ‘nuff said<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bank: deposit checks<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Project:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I applied
Heat ‘n Bond to the denim and then cut letters out of the fabric with my
Sizzix, then ironed them on to the bottom portions of legs of pants I had cut
off (I do a lot of cutting off of legs of pants for some of my family members),
sewed up one end and across the corners to make a rectangle-shaped bottom,
added a cord and a handle, and made cute little initial bags.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t show a photo because someone is
getting those for a gift!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Oops, I should have bought ¼ yard of denim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I forgot I needed some for the strap of
another tote bag that I didn’t have quite enough fabric for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Made do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also put out a Facebook call, plus one strategic email, for scraps of
polyester fleece batting that I can use for the tote bags.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It needs hardly any, and I didn’t want to
purchase a whole piece when I just need a few smallish squares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three different people have offered me their
leftovers!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is why crafters are
hoarders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I once needed some wine corks
for a project (believe it or not, I didn’t have enough of my own), and a friend
gave me a huge bag of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The things
people keep on hand!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A good friend and I have an outing tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We chatted online about what we’ll do; it’s
so seldom that we both have daytime hours free at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So fun to make plans!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I get tired of working on projects, I
check Facebook, play online Scrabble or Solitaire, or read articles I have
saved. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Darrel came home. We played a game, he napped, I puttered
some more, he woke up, I made dinner, he put the sash rods on the French doors
to the craft room, and we ate and played another game.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oops, I should have bought a full yard of the denim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I forgot I needed some to make a two-fabric
child’s dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep picking up pieces
of fabric and patterns that I want to make work, but I don’t have quite enough
of something to do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> project, so I
set them back down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An hour later, I do
it again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There must be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some</i> way to make this work, I think, but
alas! not without another trip to Joann’s.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Project:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made sash
rod curtains for the French doors out of a piece of novelty tapestry fabric
that I love and bought some time ago for this purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They actually went together pretty fast, in
spite of my error.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ripped a piece of
muslin in half to use for the lining, but I did something wrong and it didn’t
rip evenly (usually it does). Or maybe the piece wasn’t a perfect rectangle to
begin with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now I have unlined sash rod curtains!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It doesn’t really matter because the unlined side faces the
craft room, and when I am in there, I always have the door open anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My youngest daughter may have to sleep in the
craft room when she visits this summer (we’re expecting lots of company); now at
least she’ll have some privacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now
it doesn’t matter how messy the craft room is any more because, if the doors
are closed, no one can see in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really
like the way they turned out—playful but polished.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HmwFc1NeAbs/VwSptDdRwmI/AAAAAAAAAsA/locoLSZyItUJGrNqWUq_fqeekqDVB2Yug/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HmwFc1NeAbs/VwSptDdRwmI/AAAAAAAAAsA/locoLSZyItUJGrNqWUq_fqeekqDVB2Yug/s320/FullSizeRender%2B%25283%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tomorrow:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sewing in
the morning, outing in the afternoon, sewing in the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope to be a sewing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">machine</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I crack myself up sometimes, especially at 11
p.m.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-74408373581809903542016-04-04T23:31:00.000-07:002016-04-04T23:31:06.044-07:00Breaking Bread and Cutting Fabric: Spring Break 2016 Day Four<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The alarm went off this morning, and I got up to get ready
to meet a new friend for breakfast at the Crystal Creek Café in Bothell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The body wasn’t cooperating, though, moving
way too slowly, and I was almost late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m glad it worked out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For not
knowing each other well, our two-hour conversation quickly turned to personal
and spiritual matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s deeply
satisfying to connect with another human being in a significant way. She is a
ministry colleague, although she has spent most of her career on the mission
field, but we had lots of common ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I left feeling encouraged and uplifted; I hope we remain friends.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I thought about doing some shopping but my heart wasn’t in
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My filter this week has been: “Is
this how I really want to spend my spring break?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I came home to decide which project should
be next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had cut out fabric for custom
Christmas stockings two years ago, and I briefly entertained the idea of sewing
those up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I knew it was going to be
a time-consuming project that would require me to re-engineer the process
(since it’s been so long since I first made them and I don’t have a pattern),
and it felt a little daunting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found
fabric I had cut out for a skirt some time ago and decided that now was the
time to stitch it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a cheery
print spring-weight stretch twill that would be perfect to wear now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I used to sew a lot, so much that my sewing machine was out
all the time and I never had to hunt for anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, though, it’s a once-in-a-great-while
kind of activity, and it takes longer to find my rhythm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I’m practicing not stressing over
multistep projects, so I just let each step happen in turn and get what I need
as I need it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It worked pretty well
until I got to the last step: inserting elastic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This step requires a tool to thread the
elastic through the waistband, usually a large safety pin, and I could not find
a single one anywhere in my stash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a little elastic-pulling tool, but it’s worthless and kept slipping off
the elastic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No problem, I thought, I’ll
just run to the store to get some, and while I’m out I’ll do those returns at
Costco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I put on my sweater and gathered up my stuff and looked
outside: pouring rain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not talking
about our usual Seattle misty no-need-for-raingear sort of precipitation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m talking downpour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fatigue talked me out of going anywhere,
so I texted Darrel and asked him to pick up some safety pins on his way home,
and then I lay down to take a nap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s what I needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel came home and I pretty quickly finished the skirt,
safety pin in hand, and tried it on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
sleeveless top I bought recently in a BOGO sale was, I discovered, a perfect
shade of green to go with the skirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
pink wrap, pink sandals, and pink necklace I already own brought the ensemble
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m pretty happy about all
this, especially not having to buy anything else to complete the outfit—can’t
wait for a warm enough day to wear it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5ShaoKVbCtk/VwNbEITC8AI/AAAAAAAAArs/xvOnSL3bnK0iVxbkc7e-L1y7RMsCV_P3A/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5ShaoKVbCtk/VwNbEITC8AI/AAAAAAAAArs/xvOnSL3bnK0iVxbkc7e-L1y7RMsCV_P3A/s320/FullSizeRender%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel and I made dinner and played a couple of games of
9-Hole Golf (the card game) while he was watching “the” basketball game on his
phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I’m usually the
distracted multitasker, Darrel occasionally takes on that role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tied for second in his pool; I guess that’s
good news!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had more fabric for another skirt and couldn’t decide
which pattern to use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A second pattern
had some custom-sizing options that appealed to me, but it looked complicated and time-consuming, and I wasn’t sure it would fit right even with
those options.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fabric, it turns out,
goes perfectly well with the OTHER sleeveless top I got in that BOGO sale, so I
decided to make another skirt just like the first one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This required getting out the cutting table,
which is folded up in our bedroom, covered with a custom cover, and disguised
as an accent table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I uncovered it and
dragged it into the entryway, which is so roomy in this condo that I can open
up the table and still maneuver through the space and access the front door.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I cut out the skirt and decided to look through my stash;
once I’m in cutting mode, I want to cut out several projects so I can put away
the cutting table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found fabric I had
bought impulsively (I really thought my fabric-hoarding days were a thing of
the past, but all these pieces I have purchased relatively recently—in the last
year or two) to make a tote bag, found the pattern, figured out I had
everything I needed, and proceeded to cut that out as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Snag—the fabric piece was a bargain because
it had a big black mark through the middle of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By refolding the fabric, though, I was able
to cut out the bag anyway with no black mark showing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have I mentioned that I love problem-solving?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love looking at my fabric stash, too, and the
patterns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My favorite part of projects
is gathering the supplies, but I feel
guilty about gathering supplies I don’t use, so I do try to get projects done
from time to time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(One of the things I
dislike about working full-time is not having enough project time!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I finally get projects moving, the sense
of achievement is powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like being
the kind of person who can do lots of different things “from scratch,” so to
speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like being resourceful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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I debated cutting out even more things, but I simply ran out
of steam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was young and running a
business from my home when my kids were little, I would work on projects from
about 9 p.m. after the kids went to bed, until about 2 a.m.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Late night TV kept me company, and I got <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so</i> much done in those quiet hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those days are done, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s 11 p.m. and I’m done for the
evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tomorrow—no alarm necessary,
and nothing particular on the schedule, so maybe I’ll sleep in and then plunge
in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At breakfast this morning, I confided to my new friend that frittering
away time is not at all restful to me—but completing projects feels truly
restorative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m physically fatigued,
but my soul is happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-80825734302306507352016-04-03T22:17:00.000-07:002016-04-03T22:19:43.328-07:00Preaching, Preparing, Practicing Presence: Spring Break 2016 Day Three<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>I drove by myself to TriWorship Covenant in Federal Way
today to open the word of God with the people of God (which is just about my favorite thing to do in the whole world) who meet together at
Saghalie Middle School. Pastor David
Aaron Johnson was visiting his family in Kansas City to celebrate the 95<sup>th</sup>
birthday of a family friend. Church
planters don’t usually have associate pastors to preach when they need a Sunday
off, so I get called on pretty regularly to be pulpit supply for just such
occasions. I have finally put “itinerant
preacher” on my résumé. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s 39 miles door to door, and I listened to Christian
music on the radio the whole way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
is a new thing for me because I can’t stand to listen to the Christian radio
hosts talking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t. Stand. It. Just
play the music and keep quiet, please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I don’t indiscriminately love all the new contemporary Christian
music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But lately I have found that
getting gospel music on my brain’s playlist is good for my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I meditate on it all day in a back door kind
of way, and that replaces some of the little nagging worries that ordinarily
make up my playlist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It even sort of
reminds me to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t understand
by what mechanism all that works, but it does, so I’ll keep at it for now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The service was lovely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Much of the worship music was new to me, but the worship leader sang in
such a way that it was easy to follow; rather than performing worship songs, he
actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">led</i> the worship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You now how sometimes worshipping in a new setting
is difficult just because it’s new and a little (or a lot) different than what
you’re used to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today was different but
not difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a small,
post-Easter congregation today, but the sermon went well and was
well-received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had meaningful
conversations with several people both before and after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love TriWorship’s intentional vision for a
multiethnic community of faith.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I met Darrel for lunch, and then he had a long errand to run, so I came home and entered my usual post-sermon coma, but it lasted barely an
hour today in spite of staying up late last night to watch Peter Dinklage
guest-host Saturday Night Live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re
fans of Dinklage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking of SNL, I guess we are officially old and out of
touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SNL had a funny moment or two,
but nothing laugh-out-loud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much of the
show was plain old boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expect it
to be offensive at times, but even the offense was boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Un-funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tepid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I had just gone to
bed on time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I decided to start a project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That required me to do a bit of straightening
up of my craft area, which led to a flurry of general straightening things up
and organizing, throwing away old ads, finding unpaid bills (oops!), texting
someone for an address so I could send a thank you note, emptying bags (Have I
told you about my bag obsession?), filing things, and the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As distracting as all that was, it needed
doing and I felt a little lighter afterwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I came across an unfinished project—making gift tags out of recycled
Christmas cards—and decided to work on that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I realize that Christmas is several months away yet, but I have to work
on things way in advance or projects that should be relaxing become stressful
instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am preparing now to enjoy
Christmas later.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CW9Rowpq82U/VwH5Y91ypqI/AAAAAAAAArU/op889OU-9BAHJ_FNAA1-4sZ79aMffbGjg/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CW9Rowpq82U/VwH5Y91ypqI/AAAAAAAAArU/op889OU-9BAHJ_FNAA1-4sZ79aMffbGjg/s320/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Multitasking came next:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>working on the tags, talking to my daughter on the phone, answering some
emails, setting up a breakfast date for tomorrow, helping Darrel post his car
for sale on Facebook, making dinner, fielding inquiries on the car, eating
dinner, playing Qwirkle, finishing the tags, showing the car, texting and
chatting with several different people, watching Steve Harvey’s new show,
selling the car, inviting the buyers in for a soda, looking for the car title .
. . well, you know how it goes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking of Steve Harvey’s new show <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Little Big Shots</i>, based on the previews I had no interest in seeing
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Darrel turned it on while we
were eating and playing Qwirkle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had
a conversation that went something like this:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Debbie:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, I was
wrong; this show is pretty cute.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, it’s
lot like that old Art Linkletter show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(Silence as we eat, play a couple of turns, and watch a little more of the
show.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Debbie:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know,
it’s a lot like that old Art Linkletter show.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just said
that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Debbie:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a
terrible wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m trying to practice being more present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently I still need more practice!<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-55770817388654932272016-04-02T23:11:00.000-07:002016-04-02T23:11:07.631-07:00Decorating with Vegetables and Nudging Myself: Spring Break 2016 Day Two<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I crossed a few things off my <i>teuxdeux</i> list today:</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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First, we got up early (for a Saturday), and I took Darrel
to his parents’ place so he could buy their minivan—big changes for them to
give up their vehicle, but a great deal for us to get a well-maintained vehicle
to replace the 1992 Mercury sable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I went to Costco to load up on the piles of vegetables
and fruits we keep on hand these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have a great, healthful eating plan that we’ve mostly been able to
stick to these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hasn’t resulted
in much weight loss, but I have more energy than I used to have and I generally
feel better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I got home, I put the
groceries away, which resulted in bowls full of beautiful produce; it makes the
kitchen look like a model home!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made
more homemade dip and ate a few carrot bites and a few potato chips with it. I
realized that the new bathmat I bought doesn’t quite match the towels, and I
still had a ¾ full box of trash can liners, so a return trip will be necessary—later.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Then lots of little things: made myself lunch, had several
online conversations with friends, colleagues, and my daughter-in-law whose
husband—my son—has recently been deployed, updated a sermon for tomorrow (and
confirmed details with the pastor for whom I’m subbing), watered plants, placed
a monthly online order, balanced the checkbook, paid the monthly bills
(including an enormous IRS bill for this year—ugh!—but thank you, God, for
enough), and got several birthday cards ready to mail—a task that takes me time
but that I always feel good about doing, even if they are late.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I was working on the sermon, Darrel made tacos for
dinner, and we played Skip-bo while we ate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We tried to find something to watch on TV while waiting for Saturday
Night Live—Peter Dinklage is the guest-host tonight—and settled on watching a
couple of episodes of Carpool Karaoke.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last night, after I went to bed,
I finished reading Amy Cuddy’s book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest
Challenges</span></i><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">, which offers an empowering but simple message: our
bodies can retrain our minds when we deliberately control our posture and
practice “power poses.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the last
chapters was about how long-lasting, effective changes are more easily achieved
by taking a tiny next step instead of setting huge goals—“nudging yourself.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past this has included, for me, such
things as drinking one cup or glass of tea a day in place of diet soda, instead
of vowing to quit drinking diet soda altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, having just finished the book, I
focused on my posture all day, reminding myself to sit up straight, stand up
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<br /></div>
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Did I mention I also got a little unplanned nap today?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
And now:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saturday
Night Live.<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-37146153272513472602016-04-01T21:47:00.002-07:002016-04-01T21:47:04.356-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
On Amusement Park Nightmares and Sleeping In: Spring Break
2016 Day One<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a recurring nightmare where I am at an amusement park
that I love (it’s never quite Disneyland but definitely has some Disney vibes), and for whatever
reason—long lines, a late start, the slowness of the people I am with, the
distance between attractions, someone needing to EAT, for pete’s sake—the day
ends and I have hardly gotten to do anything except maybe go on one or two of
the gentler rides, and only because the lines were especially short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a frustration dream,
clearly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a similar sensation about school breaks and
holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am teaching, as I am
now, summer comes, and it takes me a couple of weeks just to unwind, and then I
have a class to take, and we have a stretch of bad weather, or someone gets
sick, and before I know it, summer is flippin’ <i>over</i> and I have nothing to show
for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t get my <i>teuxdeux</i> list
conquered, my projects done, my books read, a real vacation taken—nothing at
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The summer just sort of got
frittered away, and now it’s time to get back to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Disclaimer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do
truly love work, in general, and teaching, in particular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it requires of me a sustained energy and
perpetual state of overwork that I can’t seem to avoid, no matter how carefully
I budget my time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to find
Sabbath rest during the school year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t live <i>for</i> my weekends and holidays, but I am very, very grateful for them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year, Darrel and I did a great thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We planned a month-long road trip that began the
day school got out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were nervous
about being away from home so long: what if we got to the east coast and didn’t
want to drive any more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe we’d
get tired of strange mattresses and hanging out with friends and relatives that—due
to distance—we didn’t really know that well any more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we did it anyway, and we had a great
time, and we came home really proud of ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only that, but it helped us plunge into
summer without the two-week unwind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
just unwound as we went!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of the
summer felt like a bonus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, my thought was that if I blog about my spring break,
I’ll have a record of what I did—proof to myself that I didn’t just fritter it
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a short memory, I guess,
and I need evidence that I actually got rested and revitalized!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This school year has been one of my most challenging for
reasons I won’t delve into here except to say this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every school break has required me to bring
home a pile of work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very few weekends
felt free of work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was
approaching spring break and realizing that I was in a little bit better place
than usual, I chose to plow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worked
late three of four work nights this week so I could get my grades done early
and have two weeks worth of planning for my classes after spring break done
before the break, and it worked!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today was supposed to be a teacher workday to get
third-quarter grades completed and to get ready for the new quarter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I walked out last night at 6 p.m. with
everything finished—even emails to students and parents with some reminders for
the new quarter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words, I
walked out a free woman (for the next 10 days) and started my spring break a
day early.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not my usual
M.O.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am feeling, once again, a little
bit proud of myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The gorgeous spring
weather seems a bonus gift to celebrate my freedom!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel and I have never had the same spring break since we
have been married.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since he would be
working, I thought about taking a trip by myself to see relatives, but nothing
worked out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Airline tickets are
expensive this time of year!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I
really wanted to get some creative projects done at home and enjoy sleeping
in—the one inexpensive luxury I so seldom get these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t exactly have goals for spring break, but
I do have some hopes:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rest, spend time
with local friends and family, see the tulips, make greeting cards, work on
some sewing projects, take care of some nagging household details, get some
exercise, make some healthful diet choices, pray, read, write, perhaps a bit of
self-care.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how am I doing so far?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Day One:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Household tasks:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did
laundry, made soup, chopped vegetables, got a pair of shoes ready to return to
Amazon, put new sheets on the bed, put away some miscellaneous stuff that’s
been driving me nuts, made a real dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The chopping vegetables part has a bit of a story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I make a healthful, homemade ranch dip that I
really love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, I usually
eat it with potato chips—not so healthful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We buy organic carrots ten pounds at a time, and I thought if I cut them
up into carrot sticks, maybe I would eat the dip with carrots instead of
chips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But making carrot sticks is
time-consuming and tiring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I peeled a
bunch of carrots and used this nifty device I got from Pampered Chef to cut the
carrots at an angle to make perfect little single dip carrots slices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love problem-solving!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YZh5gFaSrGc/Vv9OvCNbfZI/AAAAAAAAAq0/U30-VUntD8Iu4BE1ZvzHSv7htdlGKvIbA/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YZh5gFaSrGc/Vv9OvCNbfZI/AAAAAAAAAq0/U30-VUntD8Iu4BE1ZvzHSv7htdlGKvIbA/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Laundry is a routine, but soup-making happens when I have
the perfect storm of a carcass in the fridge, which I did, leftover
from a Costco rotisserie chicken dinner from last week, the appropriate
vegetables on hand (I did have to ask Darrel to pick up an onion and some
celery on his way home from work), and time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Returns with Amazon are easy enough but still take some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate to make the bed alone, but I made
myself do it anyway; I do love a made bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Self-care:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Slept in!
Caught up a bit on reading some articles I had saved from Facebook posts (love
that new “save link” feature), made some arrangements for a tulips outing with
my daughter and her kids and for an extended lunch date with a good friend, took
a long shower, prayed aloud (not my usual thing) to sort out some motives, got my hair to
look amazing, chatted online with my mother, Skyped with Dan and Cindy who are
in Thailand, played two games with my husband, ate carrots!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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And now, a mere 13 hours after I got out of bed, we’re both
tired and ready to call it a night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
have a few necessary tasks for tomorrow; I hope there is time to get outside
and maybe also start a fun project.<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-15087969936923166102016-01-01T15:42:00.003-08:002016-01-01T15:42:49.779-08:00The Winter Solstice--The Happiest Day of the Year (You Could Be Time)Perhaps it's strange to you that the darkest day of the year is my happiest day. I start talking about it in September. <div>
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"Only three more months to the solstice!" I say. "We can make it!" My husband thinks I'm crazy, as does anyone with earshot (this conversation sometimes occurs in public). But then I add: "And then the days start getting longer again!"</div>
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Here in the Pacific Northwest, where our winter days are so very short, and the winters chilly, grey, and wet, we do love our sunlight. And a few more minutes of daylight each day is good news indeed. If I can keep my good cheer up until the solstice, it gets easier every day after that. </div>
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The winter solstice happens just a few days before Christmas, and then the days begin to get longer and baby Jesus makes his entrance and New Year's Day signals the renewal of all our hopes, dreams, goals, and plans and eventually we can drive to work in the light and come home in the light and the sunlight stretches itself into spring and we go see the tulips up north and the melting snow cascading over Snoqualmie Falls to the east and then we teachers pack up our classrooms for the year and it is summer--glorious summer!</div>
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I am an optimist at heart. My optimism begins as soon as the days give evidence of growing shorter and it continues until it is no longer needed. Light is the symbol and substance of my hope.</div>
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Recently, I was asked to compose a written piece to accompany one of the scripture passages for the Christmas Lessons and Carols Concert performed by the choirs of Bellevue Christian School. I wrote in response to John 1:1-15, which reads (in the NIV) as follows: </div>
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<div class="chapter-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text John-1-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">In the beginning was the Word,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26046A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26046A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and the Word was with God,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26046B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26046B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and the Word was God.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26046C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26046C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-2" id="en-NIV-26047" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">He was with God in the beginning.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26047D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26047D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-3" id="en-NIV-26048" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26048E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26048E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-4" id="en-NIV-26049" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">In him was life,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26049F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26049F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and that life was the light<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26049G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26049G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> of all mankind.</span><span class="text John-1-5" id="en-NIV-26050" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">The light shines in the darkness,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26050H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26050H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and the darkness has not overcome<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-26050a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NIV-26050a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> it.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26050I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26050I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text John-1-6" id="en-NIV-26051" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">There was a man sent from God whose name was John.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26051J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26051J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-7" id="en-NIV-26052" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">He came as a witness to testify<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26052K" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26052K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>concerning that light, so that through him all might believe.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26052L" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26052L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-8" id="en-NIV-26053" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text John-1-9" id="en-NIV-26054" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">The true light<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26054M" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26054M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> that gives light to everyone<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26054N" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26054N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> was coming into the world.</span> <span class="text John-1-10" id="en-NIV-26055" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">He was in the world, and though the world was made through him,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26055O" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26055O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> the world did not recognize him.</span> <span class="text John-1-11" id="en-NIV-26056" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26056P" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26056P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text John-1-12" id="en-NIV-26057" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26057Q" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26057Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> in his name,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26057R" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26057R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> he gave the right to become children of God<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26057S" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26057S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>—</span> <span class="text John-1-13" id="en-NIV-26058" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26058T" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26058T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="text John-1-14" id="en-NIV-26059" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The Word became flesh<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26059U" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26059U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26059V" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26059V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26059W" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26059W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and truth.</span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span style="font-family: Times; line-height: normal;">I hope you enjoy the poem I wrote in response:</span></div>
You Could Be Time<br />
<br />
<br />
You could be time<br />
time that flies in joy or urgency<br />
drags in grief and anticipation<br />
time that marks our planting and our harvesting<br />
our killing and our healing, our silence and our speaking<br />
time measured by bells and whistles and alarms<br />
time that measures our days and<br />
marches us inexorably to our deaths<br />
time that bends, stretches, and contracts<br />
according to our speed, our destination, our location<br />
inconstant, limited, limiting time.<br />
But you are not time.<br />
<br />
You could be matter<br />
matter that gathers, grows, decays<br />
disintegrates, re-integrates, shape-shifts<br />
moves, changes, destroys, is destroyed<br />
matter that ages and betrays itself<br />
matter, our very flesh,<br />
not willing even when the spirit is willing<br />
fickle, mutable matter.<br />
But you are not merely matter.<br />
<br />
You could be space<br />
space so vast, expanding<br />
space that seems limitless<br />
dark, cold, impersonal, empty<br />
space that once was not but now is<br />
that one day will contract and swallow itself<br />
and us with it<br />
space that will cease to be<br />
You cannot be space.<br />
<br />
You call yourself Light<br />
You have come into our world as light<br />
our everlasting light<br />
Light the first gift in creation<br />
to the heavens and the earth<br />
Light by which all living things have their existence<br />
In which all needy humans find life<br />
light warms, illuminates, reveals deep and hidden things<br />
nurtures the awakening of spring and the flowering of summer<br />
the fullness of harvest<br />
light sweeps away darkness and reveals our lost coins<br />
the near-constant in our universe<br />
by which speed and time are measured<br />
light returns every morning, the sign<br />
of your constancy, your faithfulness<br />
light guides our feet on the path<br />
the way, the truth, and the life<br />
we who dwell in darkness have seen your great light<br />
our armor, our knowledge, the gospel of the glory of Christ<br />
revelation to the nations and glory to your people Israel<br />
your glory in the New Jerusalem<br />
You are light<br />
And that light is life.</div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-19818067733655007902014-11-27T11:45:00.001-08:002014-11-27T11:52:11.086-08:00No Rush to Thanksgiving<div class="MsoNormal">
It has been my practice the last few years to post on
Facebook something for which I am thankful, every day during the month of
November leading up to Thanksgiving Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn’t do that this year. It’s been a demanding year for us, and I
have dutifully tried to practice gratitude in the midst of those demands, but
the words get stuck in my throat and don’t make it down my arm to the computer
screen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I have tried, the words
have felt forced, compelled, not without meaning but perhaps without
sincerity:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>words I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> mean but could not feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I felt like a fraud.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe, occasionally, you have experienced something
similar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amidst my first world comforts, and growing more and more in
my understanding of the sufferings of others, both here and around the world, I
felt mostly—guilty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilty for allowing
my own suffering to prevent me from expressing gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilty for even thinking that my discomforts
amounted to suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilty for not
being able to summon up compassion for the suffering of others on demand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilty for the resentment that sometimes
bubbled up when I was called on to serve in ways that I had not foreseen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guilt is a terrible motivator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just made me feel worse that I couldn’t
summon up even a dutiful gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some days I couldn’t even form a charitable thought towards suffering
people in my immediate circle of influence, even though my own discomforts pale
in the light of their experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
times, I thought I could just not bear to hear one more story of loss, illness,
reversal of fortune, or disappointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And that’s before I even heard the news:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>human trafficking, Ferguson, corporate greed, hit-and-runs, abducted
children, school shootings very close to home, and you know the list goes
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many years ago I was in the hospital after a miscarriage at
sixteen weeks of pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
devastated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t sleep, and a
night nurse who wasn’t too busy came to my room and let me talk for a
while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first, I was grateful for the
opportunity to process aloud with a compassionate listener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then she said the words that gutted my
right to be devastated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“At least.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As in, “At least you’re young; you can have
another baby.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, ma’am, let me get
right on that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shouldn’t feel sad about losing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> baby because someday I will have
another one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could I please be allowed
to mourn <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> loss first?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I read an article recently that said that a meaningful gesture
of compassion never begins with the words, “At least.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least you have a job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least you have a home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least you don’t have cancer like these
other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“At least” shuts down
compassion, shuts down conversation, shuts down our right to have feelings of
any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“At least” says, “You should
be grateful in spite of your piddly little problems.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It says, “How dare you think that you have it
bad?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“At least” rushes us from our
experience of current loss or hardship or disappointment or mourning to
acceptance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To a brittle but false contentment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realize now that, although I would never say “at least” to
a suffering friend or parishioner, I have been saying it to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">myself</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have been telling myself that I have no right to consider my own
sufferings because “at least . . .”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“At least” rushes us past lament.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Bible contains many, many commands and reminders to
express gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it also contains
many examples of lament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In seminary,
when I was studying the wisdom literature of the Old Testament, one thing I realized
was that the books of Job and Lamentations—expressions of lament easily
recognizable to even a casual reader—were written as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">poetry</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The writing of
poetry (good poetry, anyway) is not, after the first impulse, a spontaneous
activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes time, revision,
careful attention to every word, a consideration of the range of meaning,
rhythm, sound, effect on the reader.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lament was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">encoded</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffering people didn’t just sit down and
vomit out their thoughts into a journal and call it poetry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They considered it, mined it, lingered over
it, pondered it, contemplated it, sat with it, attempted to make meaning out of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lament was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">crafted</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Biblical lament is given to us as a model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are meant to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">practice</i> lament, the same way we practice thanksgiving and prayer
and praise and service and justice and mercy and humility and compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we rush past lament on our way to
thanksgiving, our gratitude becomes cheap and artificial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least mine does.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need to spend time looking at my losses and heartaches and
life demands and fatigue and disappointment and confusion and weakness and
inadequacy in the face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have to
make meaning of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have to
resolve them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m pretty sure I do
have to acknowledge them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to
honestly lay them in all their ugliness at the feet of the God who knows it all
and say, “There it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know what to do with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like the way I feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like that I’m not strong enough to
deal with it on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like how
petty I feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like feeling guilty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m ashamed that I would prefer an easy
life.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And finally, because I’m starting
to remember how God has worked in my life before, “Maybe you can do something
with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you can make something
out of it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when I do, God sometimes opens my eyes to see the little
slivers of light, of his goodness, of his presence that have been there all
along—the small graces that soften the edges of hardship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wheelchair that just happens to line up
perfectly with the height of the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The job that I didn’t want where I am valued and respected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A tangible, unexpected reward for service
rendered years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A home that delights
us after we were forced to move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ministry
colleagues with whom we find safe space to lament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am finally able to say, “Thank you,
Jesus.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently read the book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Unbroken</i>
by Laura Hillenbrand, the true story of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic athlete
whose plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean on a rescue mission during World War
2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He survived an unprecedented 47 days
aboard a life raft, was eventually captured by the Japanese, and was singled
out for untold abuse, torture, and deprivation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s a story of almost unimaginable suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, small graces were evident throughout
his story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His life raft was strafed by
a Japanese fighter pilot, and although the raft was damaged extensively,
neither he nor the two other Americans with him took a single bullet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When their raft hit the equatorial doldrums,
he experienced a heavenly choir of what seemed like angels, which brought him unexpected
peace and the hope of a future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Japanese
guard who had converted to Christianity under the influence of missionaries
snuck him extra food and kept away some of the more sadistic guards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually Louis was rescued, but it wasn’t
enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of leaving behind his
wartime sufferings, he had to examine his agonies square in the face before
he could call on the God of the universe to rescue his heart and soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although his story took him farther into
darkness that I can even imagine, at the end of it was great light and
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lived a redeemed life, full of
health and vigor, into his 90s, and most of his postwar life was spent in
meaningful service to the less fortunate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Small graces helped him survive and eventually thrive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this time of year we
naturally focus on gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most
Christians believe in the importance of gratitude, at least on some level; I consider it a spiritual discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
other words, if we practice gratitude even when we don’t feel gratitude, it
changes and forms us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We become
different people, kinder people, people with some of our rough edges sanded
down, people with eyes to see the goodness of God even amid difficult
circumstances.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we must not pretend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some things remain broken, unsolvable, heartbreaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We must not put on Pollyanna faces and force
ourselves to look on the bright side and ignore the dark side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We must acknowledge our pain, even if others’
pain seems to deserve more attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
we don’t, we might miss the small graces where God touches, encourages, heals, and
clears the path before us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Thanksgiving, yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But sometimes we must pass through lament on the way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-27606971780229853462014-02-24T11:54:00.000-08:002014-02-24T11:54:40.082-08:00A Meditation for Preachers: Adapted from Psalm 40<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I missed church two weeks in a row, once for snow,
once for illness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For perhaps a number
of reasons—the illness, the absence, the fact that my husband was out of town
for an extended period of time—I began to feel restless and out of sorts, maybe
a little cabin feverish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t go out of
my home much, for lack of energy and dreary weather. I missed portions of my
two part-time jobs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to cancel out
on several events that usually give me energy and equilibrium.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The enemy crept in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The restlessness became a voice of self-doubt and
confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What business do you have thinking you can be a pastor?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course this sermon is difficult to
prepare; you have nothing to say and no right to say it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you really think it was </i>God<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> telling you to go to seminary, or did you
just dream that up on your own?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
know, don’t you, that you have no future in ministry?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Darrel came home and my health returned and the snow went
away (although not the dreary weather) and the sermon got prepared, albeit with
little time to spare and without real confidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to church and I preached.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the whole experience—the gathering with
our little faith community, the greeting of visitors and the eating of donut
holes, the working with the worship team and the Scripture readers, the
preaching, the praying, the offering, the benediction—brought a kind of refreshment
of my calling and purpose, an affirmation that at least for today I am in the
right place, doing what I am called to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am grateful for this small grace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I read Psalm 40.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think most of us, when we read this Psalm, think of it in terms of sin—David’s
or our own—all that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mud</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mire</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">slimy pit</i> language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
receive forgiveness and that’s a great thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But today I read it differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I read it in terms of purpose, specifically the preacher’s purpose, the need
and call for what we know of God to spill out of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s living, active word spoke to me in my
current need and hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I have arranged excerpts from Psalm 40 as a
meditation for preachers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps God will
speak to you through it also.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Meditation for Preachers:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Adapted from Psalm 40 (NIV)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things
you planned for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None can compare
with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to
declare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as for me, I am poor and
needy; may the Lord think of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are
my God; do not delay.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I said, “Here I am!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have come!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I desire to do your
will, my God; your law is within my heart.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">proclaim</b> your
saving acts in the great assembly; I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">do
not seal</b> my lips, Lord, as you know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">do not hide</b> your
righteousness in my heart; I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">speak</b>
of your faithfulness and your saving help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">do not conceal</b> your love
and your faithfulness from the great assembly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to you our
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many will see and fear you, Lord,
and put their trust in you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blessed is
the one who trusts in you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those
who long for your saving help always say, “The Lord is great!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-89036157857962491272013-10-02T08:48:00.000-07:002013-10-02T08:48:57.088-07:00Diet Coke with Jesus
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For a time when I was young, I hated the word <i>devotions</i>. It sounds so pretentious and pious in a way
that didn’t express what I was doing—or thought I should be doing—when I
took the time to read my Bible and pray.
In my young adult years, the preferred expression was <i>quiet time</i>, but that sounds like a nap
or what you ask your toddlers to enter when you have had enough noise for a
while. I suppose I could borrow from my
new favorite daily cartoon strip <i>Coffee
with Jesus</i>,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
but I’d have to change it to <i>Tea with
Jesus</i>, and I don’t always have tea: <i>Diet Coke with Jesus</i>? I don’t know.
So I am back to the word <i>devotions</i>;
at least it’s shorter than <i>daily prayer
and Bible reading</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So on my daily teuxdeux list<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
you’ll see <i>devotions</i>. Is it awful to put something that should be
personal and intimate and important on a teuxdeux list? A task to be crossed off? For me, it’s not so awful, because I also
write down such “tasks” as <i>make cookies
with grandkids </i>and <i>walk with BFF</i>
and <i>plan Mom’s 75<sup>th</sup> birthday
party</i>. To keep my life focused on
the right priorities, even the personal, intimate, desirable, wonderful
teuxdeuxs end up on my list. I am easily
distracted by less important activities such as Facebook Scrabble (which, to be
fair to myself, I do at least in part to keep the aging brain sharp, which all
the self-help articles tell us we must do to avoid dementia and—ooh,
squirrel!), things that seem to happen even though they are not on the
list. That is not a reflection of their
relative importance so much as their relative “automaticness.” Or perhaps I am suffering the effects of too
many years of multitasking.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Devotions</i> is something I <i>plan</i>
to do every day, although I don’t always get to it, even though it is on my
teuxdeux list, waiting to be crossed off.
The days I don’t get to it become a sort of control group to compare to
the days I do. I have noticed,
especially in recent months, that the days I get to devotions are better days
than the ones I don’t. I do not want
this to be true, but it is. Don’t get me
wrong. Devotions are about my
relationship with God, and he does not punish me for “missing” my daily
devotions by giving me a bad day any more than my husband does if I forget to
ask him how his day went. Regardless, the
days that begin (and yes, the earlier the better, in my case) with devotions
have a different feel to them, a different smoothness, a better light. Why?<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I wonder about the quality of my relationship with God,
I often ponder my relationships with people I love, with the hope of gaining
some insight into how that vertical relationship might work. For instance, the days when my husband and I
have time together to talk, to play games, or even to work on household tasks
or run errands together are just plain and simply more fun, more
satisfying. I work at home, alone, much
of the time, and often I am more productive when my husband is physically
present, even if we are not talking or interacting. My best friend and I rarely see each other
because of our busy schedules, and in between visits I sometimes forget how
important our friendship is. But when we
are together, we can tell each other things that we cannot tell to a single
other living soul, and our burdens are lifted and we remember how grateful we
are for this friendship. If I am worried
about my children, even if I am regularly praying for them, the best
cure for my anxiety is time with them:
playing games, running errands, doing craft projects, cooking a
meal. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing beats physical time and space. When I am actually present with the people I
love, my days go better: I am happier,
more productive, freer, and calmer. But
still, I do not plan to spend time with them in order to <i>get</i> happiness, productivity, freedom, or calm. I spend time with them because I love them,
because I long for their presence in my life, because our lives are intertwined
and we have committed to being responsible in some way for one another. The joy is a bonus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I love Jesus. I
long for time with him, even though it’s a little more esoteric, harder to
grasp, than when my grandkids come for a visit.
Our lives are intertwined. He has
given his life for me, and I have given my life for him in the best way I know
how. And when I spend time with him, my
days go better. I don’t think I spend
time with him <i>so that</i> my days go
better; but when I’m having a rough day, I look back to see what’s missing, and
I realize sometimes it’s Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Again, don’t get me wrong.
My good days often have the same kinds of tasks and interruptions in
them that my bad days have. What’s the
difference?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday started off with tea with Jesus. The day was filled with both <i>have tos</i> and <i>get tos</i>, and even though some of the <i>have tos</i> were filled with purpose and delight, some such as folding
clothes took up very little space in my active attention. In the afternoon, after seeing a movie with
my younger daughter, I returned my attention to a repeating task, one that
requires some thought and concentration and creativity. It presented some difficulties, and I had to
re-do a portion of it before I was satisfied.
I had some interruptions, some of which were urgent. I kept getting distracted. Small portions of
the task remained unfinished at the end of the day. (I’m big on closure, on getting things
crossed off the list, so that could have been upsetting.) And yet it was a <i>good day</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my experience, I realized, the <i>good day</i> is not necessarily one that is perfectly productive or
without interruptions or without problems.
My project did not go smoothly; it had bumps and fits and starts along
the way. I was occasionally stymied. The difference was that I felt satisfied with
the process and the progress. I
persevered. The obstacles and setbacks
felt almost necessary to the task, as if I were growing and changing and
adapting as the task presented its difficulties. The frustrations did not frustrate me! They were part of the goodness of the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus invited me into his presence a long time ago, and I
accepted his invitation. But on a daily
basis, it’s as if he says, “Are you home today?” and I say, “Yes, please come
over! I have some things to do, but you
are welcome to hang out. As a matter of
fact, I’d appreciate your help.” And
when he gets here, we sit down and have our coffee or tea or Diet Coke, we have
our intimate conversation and talk about what’s on our minds; he might even suggest
some changes to my teuxdeux list or give me some new things to think about, and
I remind him of some of the things that are beyond my control that I need him
to tackle. Then we clear the dishes, and
I pick up a hammer and he picks up a measuring tape and we get started on the tasks
of the day.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftn3" name="_ftnref3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a> Maybe I’ll have to do some backtracking and
redo some things, and maybe the work will go smoothly, and maybe it will
present some frustrations. But Jesus is here. And it is a good day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually, <i>Diet Coke
with Jesus</i> does have a nice ring to it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div>
<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><br clear="all" />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<!--[endif]-->
<div id="ftn1">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
<a href="http://radiofreebabylon.com/Comics/CoffeeWithJesus.php">http://radiofreebabylon.com/Comics/CoffeeWithJesus.php</a>;
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-Jesus-David-Wilkie/dp/0830836624">http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-Jesus-David-Wilkie/dp/0830836624</a>
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div id="ftn2">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
<a href="http://www.teuxdeux.com/">www.teuxdeux.com</a>; I don’t know how I ever
functioned without it. </div>
</div>
<div id="ftn3">
<div class="MsoFootnoteText">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8510547004267833585#_ftnref3" name="_ftn3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></a>
Computer and white board, dish cloth and broom, chalk and eraser, choose your
own tool metaphors!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-54276735527123739822013-09-18T11:14:00.000-07:002013-09-18T11:14:12.226-07:00The Limitations of the Bird's Eye View
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Last week my niece Lindsey and I decided to take advantage
of what will probably be the last hot day of 2013 in the Pacific Northwest by
heading up to Baker Lake for a few hours of sunbathing, swimming, and
picnicking. We chose the Swamp Creek Campground beach area, a site we had never been before,
having previously chosen Shannon Creek or Panorama Point, other lovely
locations; Swamp Creek has a much larger beach and swim area. On a September Wednesday, when most people
are back at school or work, we had the place almost to ourselves.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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We set up our beach chairs and our picnic lunch on a little
flat area a few feet above the beach, overlooking the sun-drenched expanse of Baker
Lake. From there we both noticed wide
alternating ribbons of dark and light in the water, although neither of us
mentioned it to the other. I attributed
it to cloud shadows, overlooking the fact that it was a perfectly cloudless
day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we finally soaked up enough sun to want to get into the
lake, we ventured ankle deep into what looked like very shallow water. But the sand there, unlike at other beaches
in the area, is very soft, and we sank in almost up to our knees and started
sliding toward a much deeper spot in the water—water which was cold, at least at
first, so we didn’t really want to move into it quite that quickly! We finally got safely all the way in and
realized we could stand up straight with our heads out of the water. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lindsey wondered aloud, then, if she could swim all the way
over to a log we saw some way out. She
is a good swimmer (a lifeguard, even) and I was sure she could do it. So she started walking towards it until it
got deep enough to swim the rest of the way.
Except it didn’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fV1oNXZKg1Y/Ujns8giPApI/AAAAAAAAAZU/AaFm8VrbAeQ/s1600/IMG_1204.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fV1oNXZKg1Y/Ujns8giPApI/AAAAAAAAAZU/AaFm8VrbAeQ/s320/IMG_1204.JPG" width="320" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
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She walked until the water came up to her shoulders, but
then I could see more and more of her.
The water was actually getting shallower! Then deeper!
Then shallower! Eventually I
followed her, and we discovered that we could walk almost halfway across the
lake without needing to swim more than a stroke or two every now and then—good
news for a clunky swimmer such as myself.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cQYevE8sebQ/Ujns8uS6u8I/AAAAAAAAAZQ/GFLyxsFsAao/s1600/IMG_1205.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cQYevE8sebQ/Ujns8uS6u8I/AAAAAAAAAZQ/GFLyxsFsAao/s320/IMG_1205.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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The “cloud shadows” we had seen from the beach were not
cloud shadows at all. They were the
deeper trenches between shallowly submerged sandbars that extended in bands
quite far across the lake. It struck me
that we had had the big picture, the bird’s eye view, but it had no meaning—or
rather, incorrect meaning—for us because we had spent no time in the trenches,
experiencing it at the water level. When
we got out of the lake to dry off and warm up, and we looked back out over the
water, we realized what we were seeing.
The big picture <i>couldn’t</i> make
sense until we had the little picture.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think about how often I have ideas and opinions—about my
own life, my church, my community, my country, my world, my neighbor, the
person driving in front of me, the check out procedures at the library, the
customer service at the local cable company—and I think I have the bird’s eye
view, the big picture, and that my opinions are clearly logical. I have answers! (Truth be told, I often have <i>judgments</i>.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I haven’t always walked in the trenches first to see
which details of the bird’s eye view are actually relevant, important, meaningful,
or even accurate. How do I know how
insurmountable the obstacles really are until I attempt the course? How do I know I can handle deep water until
I’ve tried it? How do I know where the
trenches and sandbars lie? How do I
grasp proportions and measurements and hidden dangers? How do I understand the costs? How do I know when I’m just plain wrong or
when I’m seeing something other than what I think I’m seeing? Having the bird’s eye view does not mean I
have eagle-eye vision! Or to put in another
way: knowledge does not equal wisdom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The implications are many:
I need to be cautious with my untested opinions. I need to spend time at the micro level,
testing the waters myself, so to speak, before I offer solutions. I need empathy for others’ limitations and
awareness of my own. I need humility
regarding my own knowledge and observational skill. I need patience and a willingness to get wet
or cold or sweaty or dirty—or involved.
Then, perhaps, I can step back and make sense of the big picture and
actually be of use—to myself or to others.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another implication is that I would be wise to take advice from
those who have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, instead of those who
merely study from the vantage point of the ivory tower. The ideal advisors, perhaps, are those who
have tested their assumptions and hypotheses in the field, then returned to the
tower to reflect and study some more and thoughtfully formulate their advice. They wait until they have travelled before
they write the travel guide.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus modeled this.
He always has the God’s eye view, of course, and unlike our bird’s eye
view, his view is perfect. But he
entered our story anyway, experienced our view, identified with us, suffered
with us, and then offered us hope. We
were ready to listen, then, because he had walked our walk first. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have ideas, lots of them, about lots of things. But age has taught me this: ideas are cheap. Until I’m willing to put feet under them, I
don’t really know if they have any merit.
And putting feet under them requires engagement and testing at ground (or
water) level, no matter how sure I think I am of the big picture. It requires me to come alongside and enter in
and identify with the problem I hope to solve.
Spectator seats have limited value in producing true discernment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need the big picture, absolutely. But it’s more useful if we also have the
little picture, then the big picture again, this time with the important
details mapped.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-86150044311833917852013-07-19T22:33:00.001-07:002013-07-19T22:44:29.353-07:00Fuller Commencement<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i>When I graduated with my M.Div. from Fuller Seminary Northwest on June 8, 2013 (Woohoo! Finally!), I was asked to be one of the two student speakers. My task was to reflect on my seminary experience. Since some of my friends and family have asked for it, here is the text of my address.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been thinking a lot lately about the word <i>home</i>.
What is home? Where is home?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My father was a military man. By the time I was in kindergarten, I had
lived on three continents. I was
conceived in Texas and born in Connecticut.
I was a crawler in Japan, a toddler in California, a preschooler in Colorado,
and a kindergartner in Germany. Elementary school took me from Germany to Virginia
to Japan again, JH back to Connecticut, and high school and college to two
different cities in Arizona. My young
adult life was spent in Phoenix, Arizona, with a husband and eventually three
children. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I moved with my family from Phoenix to Seattle in
August of 1998, I said to myself it would be the last move I would ever
make. Since then I have moved four times,
the last time just this past October.
Graduation and a new vocation probably mean that we will be moving again
soon, and not necessarily in the Seattle area.
When you move a lot, you eventually ask yourself the question, “Where is
home?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Early in my life, in some ways, home was wherever my parents
were. In other ways home was my
grandmother’s house in Connecticut, because that’s where we always returned for
a time between other homes. But
eventually Grandma followed us to Arizona, so “Grandma’s house” was no longer
home. As an adult, I sometimes think,
“Home is where my children are.” But now
our six adult children are spread out across Washington, California, and Hawaii. Which one is home?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked my Facebook friends to complete the sentence, “Home
is where <u>fill in the blank</u>.” Here
are some of their responses:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where the heart is.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where you belong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where each lives for the other and all live for God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where you hang your hat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where your muddy boots can finally rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where my family is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where they know you and love you anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where you can steal quarters from the couch cushions
and feel totally justified.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where I can take my shoes off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where we are all together with our tortoise and our
espresso machine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where you can scratch where it itches.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home is where you can be 100% yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I like that last one:
Home is where you can be yourself.
The problem is that a few years ago I discovered that my house—the one
where I lived with my husband and children, the people I loved—was no longer a
place where I could be myself, where it was safe to be myself. I often felt
like Cinderella’s stepsisters, who contorted themselves to the point of
self-destruction to fit their feet into the glass slipper for the right to be
claimed by the prince. And as any woman
who has worn a pair of killer high heels can tell you, it is very difficult to
be yourself when your feet hurt!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember quite clearly the day when the counselor I had
been seeing said, “We have to find a way to stop this abuse.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Abuse,” I said. “That’s a very strong word.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said, “It’s the right word.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had thought that it was all my
responsibility to adjust: if I could
just be more selfless, more submissive, more supportive. But in the attempt to do so, I had contorted
myself beyond recognition, trying to fit into someone else’s idea of what I
should be. And there was no way in that
context I could have heard a call to vocational ministry.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took me another year to come to terms with the fact that,
like Hester Prynne, I was wearing a big scarlet A on my chest, only mine did
not stand for adultery; it stood for abuse.
It took time and new courage to name it:
<i>I was an emotionally abused woman.</i>
I begged God to change my situation, but it is the nature of God’s love
that it doesn’t coerce. So instead God
answered my prayer, not by fixing my situation, but by removing me from it—from
a marriage that had become oppressive and unresponsive in what should have been
a quest for mutuality, growth, and love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But now my scarlet letter was a D—for divorced. The church
can be a lonely place for a divorced woman, no matter the reason. I was told it would have been better for me
to endure the abuse than to divorce. I
was told I could never remarry. I was
asked to step down from the worship team, the one task that gave me joy and
hope. And although people tried their
best to love me, the church became a place where I could not be myself, where I
was somehow too damaged to serve God in any meaningful capacity, where I was
suspected of somehow not being enough, where I was no longer at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet God had a future for me that I could not have imagined
for myself, would not have even dared to ask for myself. Honestly, just learning how to breathe again
felt like a great gift. But God had
plans to do a new thing, to remake home for me, a place where I could be
myself. It was going to be different and
somehow better than it had been before, and maybe even more importantly,
different than the way I thought God was supposed to act. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He gave me a new neighbor, whose name was Darrel, and whose
front door was mere inches from mine. My
new neighbor became a new friend, and we discovered we had many things in
common: we were both teachers, both Christians,
both divorced for similar reasons, both with three kids nearly the same ages,
and both of us were planning to remain single for the rest of our lives. The surprise was that God gave us to each
other, in a new marriage, and a new home.
From the beginning we have said to each other, “You never have to stop
being who you are for my sake.” And we
discovered what God intended for marriage, and that in his kingdom reality,
even in this <i>already-not yet</i> that we live in, crazy, happy love is
possible. And with the new marriage came
a new church, a place that felt like home, where my past did not render me
unfit for service in God’s kingdom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what does all this have to with seminary?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the safety of this new home and this new community of
faith, I began to hear God’s voice again.
I began to realize that there was yet another “new thing” for me, a next
thing. I began to pray about what it
might be. As I considered my career as a
teacher and the things I most loved to teach, to write, and to speak about, I
realized that I kept returning to spiritual themes. I found the most joy in my work when it was
about the truth of God’s sustaining love and his word. I thought, “Maybe I’ll take a couple of
seminary classes, so I can do those things with a little more accuracy and
authority.” I had no intention of
changing careers or even getting a degree.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My best friend’s mother was a pastor, and I knew she had
gone to Fuller, so on my lunch break one day I Googled it, found the Fuller
website, read the statement of faith and the statement on marriage and divorce,
and filled out the application; that was the extent of my discernment process
to decide where to attend! Then I
emailed my husband to say: “I hope it’s
okay, but I just applied for seminary.” We had been married for less than a year, and
our future was about to change even more than we expected.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought God was telling me to take a couple of
classes. For the first year I took one
class each quarter. But something
happened. I wanted more. A longing for something new awoke in me. I realized God was calling me to get an
actual degree. My pastors said, “Yes, do
it, and we’ll set up your internship!” I
thought at my age it was going to take me until retirement to finish a degree
one class at a time, but my daughter and her husband said, “It’s not the worst
thing in the world to live on student loans for awhile.” And my husband said, “It seems like God is in
this; you better do it.” So I left my career
as a teacher to attend seminary full-time and begin my internship.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And some amazing things happened. I found biblical language for my life, for my
experiences with God, for the surprising ways he handled my circumstances, for
his faithfulness and sustaining love that in one way or another I had always
known. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God called the children of Abraham out of
Egypt, out of slavery, out of mistreatment and oppression and abuse, and into a
new place where they could become his people.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that when Job cried out in the raw, honest,
painful, unfair messiness of his life and demanded that God explain himself,
God instead gave Job God’s very self, and that was the answer! God himself is the answer!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that when the people of Judah stopped living into
their calling as God’s chosen people, when they rejected the “becomingness”
that God had planned for them, and God sent them into exile, his plan all along
was to create a new way for them to be his people. God retains his freedom to act in new ways
and to find new avenues of restoration for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that the gospel is more than a <i>get out of jail
free</i> card; it is the pronouncement that the kingdom of God is now at hand, that
we are not bound by the domain of darkness and sin and death, that God is in
the business of setting things right, and that Jesus in his life, death, and
resurrection is the down payment on the rightness that is rightfully ours. It is about finding true shalom in and among
our selves, our communities, and creation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that Paul said, “If possible, as far as it depends
on you, live at peace with everyone,” because sometimes in the brokenness of
this world it is NOT possible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God’s forgiveness has been built into the
fabric of human existence since the dawn of creation and it continues to echo
throughout scripture. I learned that
God’s heart can be broken, and he weeps over our brokenness and our
stubbornness, and he longs to gather us into his healing arms. And I learned how to forgive, how to accept
that the past cannot be changed no matter how much pain it has caused, how to
respond with compassion to the brokenness in the cosmos that sometimes causes
us to hurt one another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that it is all meant to be worked out in
community, that iron sharpens iron, that diversity in its various
manifestations can make us stronger and wiser and able to see more of God than
when we choose to do it on our own. I
learned that I need you, all of you, professors, classmates, church mates,
coworkers, friends, family, to see more of God than I can see on my own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that writing an extra credit paper for Systematic
Theology 2 entitled, “Winter Isn’t Over Until Easter: Christological Motifs in
the Film <i>Lars and the Real Girl</i>,”
could actually have something to do with understanding the church’s role in
addressing the deep pain of the world.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God does not name us by our failures but by
himself! We are not our addictions, our
broken relationships, our missed opportunities, our indecisions, our perfectionism,
our phobias, our short tempers, our laziness, our spending habits. We are God’s children, and we are called by
his name. Our claim to fame is not that
we love him or serve him, but that God loves us—with an extravagant, lavish,
merciful, compassionate, forgiving, restoring, ridiculous love! And only out of that abundance are we able to
offer him ourselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God wants more for us than we dare to hope
for ourselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God <i>can</i>
use me to love and serve him by loving and serving others. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that God wants to make a pastor out of me—even
though I’m too old, even though I am a woman, even though I’m divorced.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I am daily learning all these things and more. God continues to do new things and make a way
in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So where is home? Yes, home is where you can be yourself,
but I have a new answer that works for me.
Home is where you can become your best self, where you can move towards
becoming all that God has created you to be because of God’s great love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came to seminary expecting to learn more about God; I
didn’t expect to learn to know God more.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came to seminary expecting it to be instructive; I didn’t
expect it to be transformative.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came to seminary with a faint call from God to take a
couple of classes; I didn’t expect to hear a much louder call from God to
vocational ministry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Proverbs 24:3-4 we read: "By
wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;<b> </b>through
knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So thank you. Thank
you, Faculty and Staff, for building with God’s wisdom the house that is Fuller
Seminary Northwest, and for establishing us in understanding, for filling our
rooms with rare and beautiful treasures.
Thank you for equipping us to shine a flashlight on the path for others,
to give them a few more inches of light for their journeys, as you have shined
a light for us. Thank you, Classmates,
for being partners on this journey, for shining your flashlights on my path;
when we put all our flashlights together, the light is very bright and the way
becomes quite clear. Thank you, Church,
for giving us opportunities to discover and practice our gifts, in spite of our
histories, in spite of our flaws. Thank
you, Family and Friends, for walking alongside us and loving us and creating
space for us. Thank you, Jesus, for
doing the new thing. Thank you <i>all</i> for helping us move towards becoming
all that God has created us to be. Thank you for being a safe place. Thank you for helping me to hear God’s voice
anew. Thank you for <i>being my home</i> for a quarter, for a season, for a lifetime, for
eternity, but especially for the last four years. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I no longer have to contort my foot to fit into the glass
slipper for the right to be claimed by the prince. I have been claimed by the King! “He has
clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his
righteousness,” and he has given me the right to be called his child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x7OhFSCENKE/Ueog4mrNnfI/AAAAAAAAAYM/ltUwm8z1X0k/s1600/IMG_3717.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x7OhFSCENKE/Ueog4mrNnfI/AAAAAAAAAYM/ltUwm8z1X0k/s320/IMG_3717.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-47977609728287807612013-03-28T12:20:00.000-07:002013-03-28T12:20:47.024-07:00The Happiness Conspiracy: A Memorial Homily in Celebration of the Life of Alena Marie Hibbs Ehrhart
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Richard
and Sandra invited me here today to participate in this service partly because
I am a pastor but also because I am a friend.
So that means I have two things I want to do here today. I want to share some of my memories of Alena,
and I hope to bring you a word of encouragement and hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alena
and I went to high school together in Sierra Vista, Arizona, for one year—our
senior year. I already had a pretty
tight knit circle of friends before Alena and her family moved to our town. We were theatre rats, kids who found our
identity in the theatre—in choirs, in drama, in musical theatre, in dance. We were Glee before there was Glee. We sang and danced and acted our way through
high school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We took
it as a compliment when someone called us “weird.” For instance, we developed an annual
celebration called the Merry Moose Marking Month Party. We decided that July was Merry Moose Marking
Month, and so we decided to celebrate.
Everyone who was invited to the party was instructed to bring a Moose
Marker. We gave no instructions as to
what might constitute a Moose Marker, but everyone had to bring one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There
were prizes. There were costumes. There was theme food. There were homemade virgin cocktails. There was dancing. And always there was laughter. Now if you have raised children, especially
teenagers, you probably understand how great it was that we had each other, as
crazy as we were. Kids who are busy
planning elaborate theme parties and auditioning for musicals and rehearsing
six days a week are too busy to get into others kinds of trouble. We knew we were different, and we took joy in
our differentness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And
then Alena moved to Sierra Vista. We met
her in the concert choir during our senior year. And I don’t know how it happened, but it
seems to me now in my memory that it took us about five minutes to befriend
her. Or maybe it took her five minutes
to befriend us. But our lives were never
going to be the same. We already had
friends, we were already a little crazy, we were already addicted to
laughter. But I don’t think it is an
exaggeration to say that there has never been a period of my life before or
since when I laughed so much. Alena was
the funniest person I had ever met, and I already knew some hilarious
people. She had us laughing so hard we
cried. Let me tell you some stories.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For
some reason the school choir director got it into her head that we were all
conspiring against her to take over the choir.
I don’t know what it would mean to take over the choir, and I cannot
remember the details, but I can tell you that all we wanted to do was sing well
and have some fun. But anyway, we
thought, okay, she thinks we have a conspiracy going, we’ll get a conspiracy
going. We had t-shirts made. We elected officers. We made our own vocabulary. We made a constitution. We were, yes, a little weird. The thing was, the choir director never made
the connection between our t-shirts and the fact that she thought we were
conspiring against her. Let me read you
what she wrote in my yearbook:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Debbie: It seems like we only met yesterday and
that’s probably because we did. We’ve
come a long way even since February and I wish we were going to be together
even longer to see what’s going to happen next.
These last few months have been the happiest ones in my whole life
[Sorry, Richard, I know you thought her happiest months were with you, but
apparently they were with me!] and I’m never going to forget that you were a
part of it. I want to keep in touch with
you so you better help me do that.
Thanks for everything, and long live the Happiness Conspiracy! Love always, Alena Hibbs.” I like her version of it: The Happiness Conspiracy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One day
towards the end of the year I had my yearbook confiscated by our government
teacher because I had let someone sign it during class. So Alena and I and the rest of our gang sat
down together and made an elaborate plan for “liberating” my yearbook. We had a list of needed supplies, such as
gloves, rope, flashlights, night goggles, and a crowbar. We spent hours on the details of this plan,
and some little part of us hoped we might actually have the chance to implement
it. But of course all we really had to
do was ask the teacher for it the next day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then
graduation time came around, and we wanted to think of a really great senior
prank. Most classes did something
stupid, like putting all the school picnic tables on the roof, or painting some
piglets the school colors, blue and white, and letting them free in the
courtyard. We decided instead that we
wanted to do something more creative and less destructive, something that would
leave our mark on the school forever, but in a positive way. <i>We
decided to sell the school. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We
wrote up a detailed classified advertisement, which mentioned the fully
equipped gym, the spacious dining facilities, the ample parking, the newly
installed computer room, the multiple rooms, the large private theatre. For more information, interested parties
could call Vince, who just happened to be our school principal. It just so happened that Sue Ann, who was also
part of our little gang, had a mother who was a city council member. We figured that if she took the advertisement
to the local newspaper, no one would question her. They would accept the ad and put it in the
paper. And to our surprise, she agreed
to help us with our little scheme!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She
took the ad to the local newspaper office, and they accepted it and the
payment, and we waited to see what would happen. But someone got suspicious and did a little
checking. And when they discovered what
was behind the ad, they refused to publish it.
But instead, they wrote a feature story about us and put it on the front
page of the newspaper! We had our moment
of glory, even though the ad never got published. Everyone knew that the Conspiracy had struck
again!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before
Alena moved away, we had one more thing we had to do. We had to do graduation in a big way. We
decided that each of us, as our names were called and we shook the principal’s
hand—the very same principal whose name we had put in the ad to sell the school
a couple of weeks earlier—when we shook his hand we would place into it a ping
pong ball. And we were so excited about
this idea that it spread, and we got every single one of the 400 hundred
graduating seniors of the Buena High School class of 1977 to come to graduation
prepared with a ping pong ball. Old
Vince must have gotten wind of it somehow because he had a cardboard box on the
platform. When it was my turn to receive
my diploma, he looked me in the eye, said “Congratulations,” shook my hand, and
with the ping pong ball I had oh-so-slyly deposited in his hand, he turned
without a trace of rancor and tossed it into the box. Our principal received 400 ping pong balls
that night. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There
are many more stories I could tell—like the time Alena’s sister Sandra plucked
Alena’s eyebrows so thoroughly that they practically disappeared—but I think
you get the idea. Two days after
graduation a few of us met Alena for breakfast and said goodbye. Then she and her family drove away, moving
back to Portland, and most of us never saw her again. I was lucky.
I moved to Seattle a while back, and about three years ago Darrel and I
met Rich and Alena at the Rose Gardens in Portland to wander among the flowers
together and relive old times a bit.
Facebook has made it possible for us and many of our other friends from
the good old days to stay in touch.
Alena made us laugh, and she kept our memories of those days alive in
our hearts. She was one of us, and we
missed her when she left.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know
many of you have stories and memories of the joy and laughter that Alena
brought into your life. Even though
Alena suffered with many physical ailments and has been mostly homebound in
recent years, she still found ways to be an encouragement to us. Many people knew her only on Facebook, and
she ministered to them even though she had never met them. I was looking over her Facebook wall this
week, and I see how often she posted things about strength, the need to be
strong, the way we discover strength in ourselves when we think we have none,
our need to depend on God for new strength.
Maybe that’s why she loved these Wonder Woman shoes so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<img alt="552434_2013537473639_289678644_n.jpg" src="webkit-fake-url://CF208BD3-0ED3-49D7-9991-99736AF2622F/552434_2013537473639_289678644_n.jpg" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" /> </div>
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Rich
told me that he was lucky because Alena wasn’t a person who cared much about clothes
or makeup or expensive gifts. She was
easy to please. But when she saw those
shoes, they spoke to her in a way that very few material things have spoken to
Alena. I think perhaps she saw in them
the power to live that she had discovered already in herself, the power to rise
above her circumstances, and to live a life of love, meaning, community,
family, encouragement, and strength in the face of some difficult
limitations. And Richard made sure she
got those shoes. Yes, she was limited in
<i>some</i> ways, but she refused to be
limited in <i>all</i> ways. And in the ways she wasn’t limited, she was
strong. Mighty strong. An example to us all strong. Wonder Woman strong! Yea, though I walk through the valley of
death strong!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And
that leads me to our passage today, a passage that I’m sure almost all of you
would recognize, the 23<sup>rd</sup> Psalm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
He makes me lie down in green pastures, <o:p></o:p></div>
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he leads me beside quiet waters, <o:p></o:p></div>
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he refreshes my soul. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He guides me along the right paths <o:p></o:p></div>
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for his name’s sake. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Even though I walk <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
through the darkest valley, <o:p></o:p></div>
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I will fear no evil, <o:p></o:p></div>
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for you are with me; <o:p></o:p></div>
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your rod and your staff, <o:p></o:p></div>
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they comfort me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
You prepare a table before me <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
in the presence of my enemies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
You anoint my head with oil; <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
my cup overflows. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Surely your goodness and love
will follow me <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
all the days of my life, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and I will dwell in the house of
the Lord <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
forever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want
to share a few things I discovered about this very familiar psalm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Lord is my shepherd; I lack
nothing.</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First
of all, the name of the Lord in the first line is the personal name for God,
Yahweh, the one given to God’s chosen people Israel. It means, “I am.” The God who was, who is, and who is to come,
is the very same God who is our shepherd.
We are allowed to call that God by name!
And because Yahweh is our shepherd, we lack nothing. God gives us what we need for each day and
for each season. That doesn’t mean we
will never experience hurt or pain, but somehow in the midst of it, God gives
us what we need. And we are hurting
today. We need something from God. What is it that a shepherd gives that might
make sense to us? Think about what a
shepherd does. A shepherd spends all of
his time with the sheep, 24/7. He spends
the day with the sheep, he eats with the sheep, he travels with the sheep, and
he spends the night with the sheep. We
lack nothing because we have the shepherd with us, day and night! The gift of God is his very presence with us. And he is here with us now, sharing in our grief. None of this escapes his notice. And just as God was, is, and will be with <i>us</i>, he was with Alena, he is with Alena,
and he will continue to be with Alena.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Lord is my shepherd; I lack
nothing. He makes me lie down in green
pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters; he refreshes my soul. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
Hebrew words that are translated “quiet waters” literally mean “waters of
rest.” Oh, how our souls crave rest when
we are grieving. Sleep can be hard to
come by, and even when we find sleep, we don’t always find rest. But God promises us a comfortable and
beautiful place to find rest, a grassy spot in front of still waters. And when we arrive there, our souls will be
restored. Although our memories will last, our grief will not last
forever. We will be brought back to
liveliness and vitality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I
think about Alena, about the physical struggles she had in the last years of
her life, about how hard it must have been for her to find real rest, real
comfort, I rejoice that at last she has been returned to the health and
vitality that God always intended for her.
We already knew the vitality of her spirit; and now she has a new, healthy,
lively body for all that vitality to live in!
I imagine her telling stories with Jesus and making him laugh, the way
she used to make us laugh. We, too, will
experience that renewed vitality when we put our trust in God, our
shepherd. We will experience it a little
here on earth, as we learn to trust God more, and we will experience it fully
in the day when we stand beside Alena, in the presence of our Shepherd. We will laugh again!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>He guides me along the right
paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I
will fear no evil, for you are with me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
phrase <i>darkest valley</i> used to be translated
“the valley of death.” It means a place
of deep darkness or impenetrable gloom.
Alena has walked through some pretty dark valleys in her lifetime. In recent years, her struggles with health
were downright frightening. There were
days of impenetrable gloom. But she knew
who her Shepherd is, and so she looked beyond the gloom to the light. I think of how her doctors told her she would
probably spend the rest of her life in assisted living. And she said, No way. [Richard interjects: I think she used a little stronger language
than that!] I will find a way to go back
to my home. And she did! And I think of how they told her she’d have a
trach for the rest of her life. And she
said, No way. I will find a way to get
rid of it. And she did! Just a couple of months ago, they were
finally able to remove it. She worked
hard to get well enough to make that a reality, because she did not fear the
evil that wanted to keep her down! God
was with her, and her family was with her, and her friends were praying for
her, and Alena saw beyond the gloom of the valley and came out the other
side. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you
feel like you are walking through the valley of death? Either because of your grief over Alena or
because of other circumstances in your life?
God is with you in this darkness.
Reach out and take hold of his hand, and he will lead you through the
darkness into the light. I Peter 2:9
says that God has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Will you answer the call of the shepherd?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
Psalm goes on to say: <i>your rod and your staff, they comfort me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A
shepherd’s rod is just like you might expect, a stick used to guide and tend
the sheep. But it can also mean scepter,
like a king uses. And the word <i>staff</i>
in the Hebrew is a word that is used in reference to the aged and the
sick. Alena was the same age as I am, so
I don’t like to think of her as aged! But
God was certainly caring for her in her illness. We are comforted in our illnesses as Alena
was, by the shepherd’s staff. But the
scepter also promises us that God reigns as king, and one day that reign is
going to be perfected, and then <i>every</i>
illness will be healed and every tear will be dried.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>You prepare a table before me in
the presence of my enemies. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
word translated <i>my enemies</i> means
literally <i>the ones who are being hostile
to me</i>. Now hardly anyone who knew
Alena really well could be hostile to her; she just brought us too much joy.
But she definitely had experienced hostility.
Sometimes people who didn’t know anything about her judged her, and at
those times I would see something in Alena that made me really proud to be her
friend. She would seek justice not just
for herself, but for everyone who had ever been a victim of someone else’s
malicious gossip or taunts or judgments.
She wrote some beautiful essays, which I read on Facebook, talking about
the need for us to give one another the benefit of the doubt, to avoid judging
one another, especially before we even knew one another, and to accept one
another in all our glorious personalities and bodies and strengths and
weaknesses. And now Alena is feasting at
the banqueting table of her shepherd, and some of her enemies are going to be
left scratching their heads.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>You anoint my head with oil; my
cup overflows</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
word <i>anoint</i> here means refresh. God refreshes our heads, like putting on
expensive lotion that smells good and feels good. Yes, God is concerned with bringing us
delight, so much so that our cup overflows, literally, <i>my cup is abundance.</i> I have
more than enough to drink. When we’re walking
through the valley of death, it’s hard to remember that God wants to bring us
delight, but someday, beloved, someday soon, in a limited way here and now, and
in a fuller way when we stand with the shepherd, our cup will be
abundance. Abundance of laughter as we remember
Alena’s life, abundance of health when we aren’t disabled and in pain,
abundance of love in our families, abundance of things that smell good and
taste good and finally and perfectly quench our hunger and thirst. God is about abundance, and Alena is living
in the fullness of it now, and someday we can join her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And
then my favorite part of the psalm, which extends this idea of abundance. <i>Surely
your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell
in the house of the Lord forever</i>.
God’s <i>love</i>—that’s a word in
the Hebrew that is very difficult to translate into English, because its
meaning is so much larger than what we mean when we say “love.” It means lovingkindness, mercy, faithfulness,
righteousness. It means, as one scholar
put it, “activity beneficial to the recipient in the context of a deep and
enduring commitment between two persons, by one who is able to render
assistance to the needy party who in the circumstances is unable to help
himself or herself.” That kind of
goodness and love, that’s what followed Alena from this life into the next
one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the
word <i>follow</i> means <i>pursue</i> or <i>chase</i>. Imagine this. We are walking through the deep darkness, and
we’re looking forward so hard, looking for a glimpse of light, and the whole
time, God’s goodness and lovingkindness are behind us, pursuing us, chasing
us. We’re so focused on trying to see
into the future, that we don’t even see that God’s goodness is right around
us! God wants to pour his mercy and love
into our lives, but sometimes we are running too fast to receive it. My hope for you, for all of us, is that we
will slow down and look around and see where God is trying to show us his love
and mercy and goodness. Who has
expressed kindness to you? Who has done
the right thing when it would be easy to do the wrong thing? Who has offered you sympathy or food or a
handkerchief? God’s mercy is pursuing
us, if we will only notice!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
world is not a perfect place. Things
happen that we don’t like, that hurt us, that disappoint us, that make us
uncomfortable. But God is not absent.
Like a shepherd, God walks us through the deep darkness. There is still deep darkness that we must
walk, but we are not alone. We are not
alone! Let that be our hope as we
celebrate everything that Alena was and is and will be to us, and we shed our
tears of grief and joy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alena
wrote a poem once that was published.
I’d like to share it with you now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; text-align: center;">
Daily Renewal<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
morning sunshine blooms<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
blossoms open to the sky<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
heaven's gift renewed<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
evening descends<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
all life enfolds 'til morrow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
daily renewal<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
God's greatest gift<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
a daily miracle, yes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
dance! sing! no sorrow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alena’s
words to us are: <i>dance! sing! no sorrow</i>. I
have a little sorrow. I love Alena and I
already miss her, and I know that you do too.
But someday we will dance and we will sing and there will be no more
sorrow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Richard has asked us to share this song with you, by Queen,
called “Dear Friends.” I think we can
imagine that Alena would share this with us herself if she were here in body
today.<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; text-align: center;">
<br />
<b>"Dear
Friends"</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
So dear friends your love has gone<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
Only tears to dwell upon<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
I dare not say as the wind must blow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
So a love is lost, a love is won<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
Go to sleep and dream again<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
Soon your hopes will rise and then<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
From all this gloom life can start anew<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
And there'll be no crying soon<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s
pray.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loving
God, your eyes are always upon us, nurturing us through all the days of our
lives, sheltering us by your grace and preparing a special place for each of us
in eternity. We give you thanks and praise this day, O God, for the life of Alena. She brought laughter to a world that knows too
many tears, kindness to places filled with hate, friendship to people who
needed a shoulder to lean on and the support of an embracing arm. Welcome her,
merciful God, into your joyous, eternal home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We ask
you, O God, to be with Alena’s family and friends as they walk through a valley
of deep shadows where it feels as if the sun will never shine. Let the bright
light of your love and compassion reflect into all the dark crevices of their
continuing journey. Lift them from the depths of sorrow and pain. Allow their
feelings of loss to be surmounted by comforting memories of good times spent
with the one they love. Lead them by the still waters of peace, and anoint them
with the oil of faith. We ask these things in the name of your Son, Jesus, who
came into the world that we might have unending joy and eternal life. Amen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<img alt="599697_4914724140665_36632314_n.jpg" src="webkit-fake-url://C53D6F45-F4EE-4F6E-8845-DCAE4F83D33C/599697_4914724140665_36632314_n.jpg" /></div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-83832897513902721482013-01-25T11:50:00.000-08:002013-01-25T11:50:04.125-08:00be still my soul
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
heat only the space around me to save<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
electricity the planet my soul<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
wanders<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
catalogs the day’s<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
plans pains purchases<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
weary of wanting but some things<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
want wanting maybe need <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
wanting hence flip scroll list resist<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
leftover cookies calling<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
my name and what’s in it anyway <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
having changed so <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
many times but maybe for good<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
too many minutes <o:p></o:p></div>
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pass time passes too<o:p></o:p></div>
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quickly tasks get crossed<o:p></o:p></div>
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off but not all not enough but still<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
some hot tea by day and wine by night<o:p></o:p></div>
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slow down help me move<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
slowly savoring if not all then<o:p></o:p></div>
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a crystal moment here<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and there I am warm<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
enough<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-65380470955227916892013-01-15T15:34:00.000-08:002013-01-15T15:34:03.349-08:00Lazy Sunday<br />
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Her daughter was on the sofa, busily at work on something on
her laptop, probably a poem or maybe her blog or an idea for her next
novel. Her husband was at the dining
table, grading some papers for his night school class. She herself was in a chair by the heater
vent, staying warm, reading a novel that had nothing to do with anything. Music scored the afternoon from a small CD player
in the corner—a Christmas album. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The scene she was reading reached an emotional climax just
as the music from the corner reached an emotional climax, and she raised her
head to hold the moment in the novel up to the light for a moment. She noticed her husband, working, and saw her
daughter, absorbed, engaged, oblivious, mere days after the 60-car pileup that
should have killed her. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Undergirded by
the music, the scene in the novel, the scene before her, she imagined her
daughter sitting trapped in the car between other vehicles on an icy road,
imagined the semi coming at her, unable to stop, imagined knowing she was going
to die . . . and yet, she didn’t. She
didn’t die. The impact came, but it was
thwarted, and it didn’t crush her. She
pulled herself through the open window, the only egress from the battered vehicle, with some bruises and
a sore back, without her shoes or cell phone, with some nightmares to come,
without broken bones, with her heart racing, with her wits somehow still about
her, and she didn’t die.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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She was very much alive. </div>
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<br /></div>
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And that moment swelled up, became greater than the sum of its details, became eternity, gratitude, and love, became
hope itself, became crystal, slow-moving molecules, momentarily visible and
shimmering in the sunbeam that found its way into their space on a grey, gloomy day,
reflecting all the small graces of a year or more.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And her husband coughed, and her daughter reached for a
pencil, and the music ended, and she sucked in a great gulp of shimmering air
that no one noticed except, perhaps, God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-15735939460456841252011-06-28T21:48:00.000-07:002011-06-28T21:57:12.068-07:00A Litany of Confession and Trust in Troubling TimesLeader: Father God, our world is changing. The assumptions we have made and the choices we have made are revealed as shifting sand on which to build our lives. We have lost our jobs. We have lost our savings. We have lost our retirements accounts. We have lost our health insurance. We have lost our homes. We have lost our sense of security. We have lost our way.<br /><br />Congregation: Father God, have mercy on us.<br /><br />Leader: Lord Jesus Christ, we confess that we are afraid. The things in which we have put our trust cannot be counted upon. The things in which we have invested have failed us. We look into an uncertain future and we cannot see beyond today.<br /><br />Congregation: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us.<br /><br />Leader: Holy Spirit, we find ourselves in a rapidly changing landscape. The rules are not what we thought. We see obstacles everywhere. How can we sing King Alpha’s song in this strange land? We sometimes wonder where you are, you who are Creator and Sustainer of the universe. Do you still hear our cry? Do you still offer comfort? Do our concerns concern you?<br /><br />Congregation: Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.<br /><br />Leader: And yet, we know, by your sacrifice on our behalf, that you know our sufferings. We know you have walked in our place. We know that nothing we fear escapes your notice. We have known your mercy, your provision, your comfort in other seasons. We have walked through valleys of death, and your rod and your staff have been a comfort to us. We know your grace.<br /><br />Congregation: Oh, Lord, we believe. Help our unbelief!<br /><br />Leader: You are in the business of wresting good out of evil. You did not remain on the cross; you conquered death and brought us eternal life. You did not leave us in the dust at the foot of the cross; you raised us up and called us your friends. You have not left us obstacles; you have directed our paths.<br /><br />Congregation: Oh, Lord, we believe. Help our unbelief!<br /><br />Leader: Help us to see that our priorities are not always your priorities. Use the circumstances of our lives to direct us in new ways. Allow us the joy of radical dependence on you. God promised Abraham a multitude of descendants but Abraham waited until his old age to see even the beginning of the fulfillment of that promise. God caused Esther to become the pagan king’s wife so that she could be the rescuer of her people. The Holy Spirit prevented Paul and Silas from preaching in Asia, and instead directed them to Lydia in Macedonia, and a new community of believers was formed.<br /><br />Congregation: God’s ways are not our ways.<br /><br />Leader: But you are trustworthy, working in us and through us for your kingdom purposes.<br /><br />Congregations: Father, align our hearts with yours. Jesus, enable us to trust you. Holy Spirit, comfort us.<br /><br />Leader: “The Lord is my shepherd.”<br /><br />Congregation: “I shall not be in want.”<br /><br />Leader: “He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters.”<br /><br />Congregation: “He restores my soul.”<br /><br />Leader: “He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . .”<br /><br />Congregation: “I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”<br /><br />Leader: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil.”<br /><br />Congregation: “My cup overflows.”<br /><br />Leader: “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”<br /><br />Congregation: “Amen.”<br /><br />Congregational Song: Blessed Be Your Name (Matt Redman)<br /><br />Blessed Be Your Name<br />In the land that is plentiful<br />Where Your streams of abundance flow<br />Blessed be Your name<br /><br />Blessed Be Your name<br />When I'm found in the desert place<br />Though I walk through the wilderness<br />Blessed Be Your name<br /><br />Every blessing You pour out<br />I'll turn back to praise<br />When the darkness closes in, Lord<br />Still I will say<br /><br />Blessed be the name of the Lord<br />Blessed be Your name<br />Blessed be the name of the Lord<br />Blessed be Your glorious name<br /><br />Blessed be Your name<br />When the sun's shining down on me<br /><br />When the world's 'all as it should be'<br />Blessed be Your name<br /><br />Blessed be Your name<br />On the road marked with suffering<br />Though there's pain in the offering<br />Blessed be Your name<br /><br />Every blessing You pour out<br />I'll turn back to praise<br />When the darkness closes in, Lord<br />Still I will say<br /><br />Blessed be the name of the Lord<br />Blessed be Your name<br />Blessed be the name of the Lord<br />Blessed be Your glorious name<br /><br />You give and take away<br />You give and take away<br />My heart will choose to say<br />Lord, blessed be Your nameDebbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8510547004267833585.post-49788428033933351772011-03-23T18:02:00.000-07:002011-03-23T18:06:22.555-07:00Have We Domesticated Jesus?When I began a close reading of the gospels some months ago, I studied a chart of the major Jewish groups at the time of Jesus. I was shocked that I found myself identifying most closely with the Pharisees (the group we love to hate). They believed, for instance, that both free will and the sovereignty of God exist together without cancelling each other out, in the resurrection of the dead, in the immortality of the soul, in a view of the afterlife with retribution and reward which many Christians would consider orthodox, in human equality, and in an ethical emphasis in teaching, even that human sin and movement away from the law was preventing God’s blessing. Sounds like me; sounds like most of my Christian friends and acquaintances. <br /><br />So if the Pharisees who are much like us could not understand Jesus’ challenge, is it possible that most middle-class Christians today would have the same blind spots? Do we want Jesus to heal us, keep our fortunes secure, find us a parking place when we are running late, and keep us and our children safe, in return for our going to church, tithing, recycling, and not swearing, drinking, dancing, or having sex outside of marriage? Have we transactionalized our relationships with Jesus? “Okay, God, I’ll have family devotions and make sure my kids go to church, and then you make sure they don’t do drugs or get pregnant and that they get into a good college and have a comfortable life that causes me no worry.” We may not say these things out loud, but our lives reveal that this is what we at core believe.<br /><br />Jesus said some shocking things. He asked us to hate our family members, to refuse to worry at all about tomorrow or our clothes or our food, to become like children, to pray and fast and give to the needy in secret instead of publicly, to act like a slave in order to be great, to rejoice in persecution, to avoid sin not only in action but even in thought, to store up treasures in heaven instead of on earth, to refuse to judge others, to move mountains, to be utterly dependent on others when we share the gospel, to forgive others who don’t deserve forgiveness, to prefer children and the oppressed to those with status and honor, to choose the kingdom of heaven over absolutely everything else, even our own lives. To the Pharisees who were probably very sincere in their efforts at avoiding sin, Jesus said they were following the law in very particular ways and missing its heart—“justice, mercy, and faithfulness.” Jesus preached a discipleship that demanded everything, that cost everything, that was radical and counterintuitive in almost every sense. Do we get it? <br /><br />What would it mean to follow Jesus the way he asked to be followed? Maybe more of us would lend to those who need help without expecting to be repaid. More of us would donate money anonymously and sacrificially; the widow would give her mite and the wealthy would give their fortunes, and neither would make the evenings news. More of us might sell our property and go where Jesus asks us to go in radical dependence on him. More of us would see our vocations not as security but as a means of service—to our coworkers, clients, and customers, with the salaries or profits that we earn, or even by choosing lower-paying careers in the fields of justice, health care, education, immigration, and social services, or by serving populations who cannot afford to pay us what we deserve. More of us would truly recognize that everything that we have—our resources, talents, skills, educations, homes, children, and time—are gifts from God intended to be used for his kingdom purposes, and we would constantly be asking how we can invest those gifts wisely. More of us would take seriously learning how to hear God’s voice through study and prayer, and we would be so radically transformed by God’s love and presence that our radical love for God and neighbor would not seem radical at all to us, but the natural outpouring of God’s character through our lives. God would get more of us.<br /><br />Jesus Christ, have mercy on us! We know not what we do! We know not what we know not! Heal us of our blindness, and give us the courage and understanding to be true disciples!Debbie Montzingohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06535282403058538320noreply@blogger.com0